Keeping your married name?

[lilaclilypod]

What do people generally do about their name when they divorce?

I took my husbands name when we married, we went on to have 2 children but are now divorcing. Someone asked me today if I will be reverting back to my family name but this hadn't even crossed my mind.

I don't want a different name to my children so I'm thinking of just keeping his name. Is this weird?

What did you do about your name once your divorce was final?

Divorced in 2007 still have married name, same as my adult kids.

You should do what you want . Its your own name now, you've had it for years.

It’s your name, so keep it if you want to. I didn’t change mine immediately.

Probably depends on how much of an a-hole your ex is! I have friends that have done both - and one who kept her married name until the kids were adults and recently switched it back then as a statement of "I'm me again"

Kept it, it’s my name now.

If it’s considered names ‘belong’ only to certain people then it causes all sorts of issues. Eg I don’t want my Father’s name either!
If I had my time again I would never have changed it originally, or I’d have give myself my mums maiden name as some sort of anti patriarch message!

I am keeping my married name. He pushed hard for me to take it on. Im not going through another name change.

I kept mine, really couldn't be doing with the hassle of changing my name plus I never liked my maiden name it's a bit unusual and had to be constantly spelt . I kept it until I got married 9 years later .

I went back to my maiden name right away, couldn’t wait to get rid of the vestiges of a lying, cheating toe rag (married over 20 years).

It’s such a hassle to travel abroad with kids when there’s a different surname involved. For the moment, the kids and I have the same surname. I use my maiden name casually. But officially, I’m my married name for the time being.

I took my maiden name back when I divorced my first husband as A-we had no children, and B-he was an abusive fuckwit and I wanted no reminders of my mistake. But the marriage only lasted about 5 years and we had nothing so there wasn't much to change, plus back in those days you just went and changed things, no documentation needed.

I did take my now DH's name when we married. I don't see us getting a divorce, but if we did I'd keep his name mainly because we have (adult) children and the fact that these days it sounds a nightmare to change everything back.

You know, I hadn't really thought about it, but I've had DH's name longer than I had my maiden name.

I plan to keep mine. I don't want a different name to My children

That's interesting that most people here say they'd keep it. I've spoke to people about it today and most were shocked I want to keep my married name!

It's my name, it's who I am, it's the same as my children. Maybe it helps there isn't a horrible nasty break up involved. It was mutual and had been fairly amicable. So I don't feel any desperate urge to be rid of him completely

I kept my married name post divorce as I was established in a twenty year career with it and didn't want a different name to DC when I was the parent dealing with schools etc..

Now, DC have all left for uni I am changing my job/sector and reverting back to my maiden name which is very usual and has to be said letter for letter every time I want my name recorded - oddly one of the reasons I chose to change it on marriage!

I never changed mine, so not an issue when we divorced, but both my dSis and SIL changed back to their original names after marriages of over 30yrs. The whole "same name as the dc" wasn't an issue as their dc were all adults. (My dc had my name, joint decision obv as we were married)

I haven't changed mine

But I will change it if I marry dp to his name

I'm going to keep it mainly because it's used for my business. But I'm not sure if I'll have to change it on my bank cards to miss. Is the title an official thing?

I changed mine back (but I pretty much always regretted taking ExH name anyway!) DS has a different name to me, but he's older now and we never had a problem travelling.

I really didn't want to keep that name, it wasn't me and I didn't feel any ownership of it.

I wish I had been more determined when I married to keep my maiden name as I don't like the tradition of taking your 'husbands name'

I grew to hate my married name, despite it being my kids' name too.

But he made such a song and dance about somehow forcing me to change my name back to my maiden name that out of pure spite I kept it on the bank account he pays cm into.

Changed it as soon as I could on everything else. Teeny weeny wins.

My mum and dad divorced in 2002 and she still has her married name. She didn't want to have a different name to us.

I plan to keep my married name. We have 3 children and I don't want to revert back to my maiden name and have a different name to the kids. I also have some issues with my family so don't really want to go by my maiden name ever again.

People traditionally kept it

@BeautifulElephant

No, you can use what title you want. Traditionally divorced women who keep their husbands names also continue to use Mrs.

I kept my married name after divorce.
I thought the kids had been through enough, and didn't want them to maybe feel like i was rejecting them as well by wanting a different name. I wanted them to feel we were still a family. Maybe a bit crazy, but that was my thought process.
Plus the thought of trying to change it back everywhere filled me with dread!

I am keeping it (for now anyway). It is too much hassle to change it and I feel sad having different name then my kids.