House advise needed

[Seren7]

Hi I'm looking for some help/advise from anyone that's been through/going through similar.

We split up in August, are unmarried and have an 11&8yo
He earns 60k I earn 24k due to part time for childcare.
I can't afford to buy him out as there is a lot of equity and I can't get a mortgage large enough on my income.

Initially he said he would move out so that the kids could have some stability and they get to keep their house.

However since speaking, I explained to him that I can't afford to buy him out, and asked if he would be open to me taking on the mortgage repayments myself, but look to buy him out in a few years (when hopefully I will have a higher paid job or I can get a guarantor etc... Worst case we would sell, but at least it would be on a few years and not too much all at once as it would be now for the kids)

He replied with "Oh wow, erm ok. I can't afford anything near where we live now"
(For context rent here is between £1200-1600 pcm. I earn £1500 so i cant afford to pay that myself - wouldn't be entitled to benefits due to equity from the house. He earns £60k so could afford rent)

I could sell and use the equity for rent, however ideally I want to keep this for a deposit for a house in the future. I wouldn't be able to claim housing benefit due to having savings from the equity.

As we're unmarried I'm not sure if we could go down the route of a Mesher order or not...
However ideally I would like to keep everything amicable as possible.

Just wondering if anyone had any similar experience/advise

Thank you

Get a full time well paid job and stall for as long as you possibly can in the hope that house prices will fall and as you are buying out his share you will benefit from this.

If you can't buy him out then yes, your equity will be spent on rent.🙁Unless you purchase a shared ownership property and can invest your equity in that.

Start today, make appointments with mortgage brokers and look for shared ownership opportunities. Don't wait until your forced to act, at least do some prep first.

Can you go full time at work? What's the parenting arrangements with your ex?

Thanks
I've been looking for shared ownership, although unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any locally.

I'm also on a hunt for a better paid job, however childcare would be a massive cut to come out (I'm Remote at the moment)
Ex works shifts so we can't have a set schedule, so I'm effectively having to make sure I can cover potentially full time childcare.

I'm hoping they fall.
If we could potentially agree for him to move and then reassess in 2-3 years it gives me time for find a job with a higher salary & the prices to fall which would I'm effect benefit us both (as luckily we have a fair bit of equity)

I'm looking to, however the salaries are Pretty similar to the 24k I'm already on.
Child arrangement will be difficult as his shifts are everywhere, so on reality I would have them mostly. He has 2am starts and finishes etc

The only honest answer you're going to get from anyone here (apart from a small number of actual family lawyers) is "I don't really know, speak to a solicitor."

I mean, it's not unheard of where there is an unmarried couple with children for one to be able to keep the family home in a Mesher like arrangement and it is provided for in Schedule 1 of the Children's Act.

Obviously, Mesher Orders aren't great for either party so my understanding is that they are used as a last resort these days. The problem is that for the next decade your ex will have to burn a fortune in rent, potentially miles away from his children. Then in the future you'll have to sell up, you'll have done nothing to improve your earnings and you'll be screwed when you're older and your mortgage capacity is even smaller. People don't call them "hardship for him now, hardship for you later orders" for nothing.

However, there are so many factors at play that only a real solicitor with a firm grasp of your case will really be able to advise on. For example, how big is the house? Are there cheaper suitable properties in the area? Is it reasonable for you to move somewhere cheaper? Should you improve your earning capacity? Can you really afford the mortgage if interest rates keep rising? Can he meet his housing needs including having the children without access to his share of the capital? Etc.

I suggest you get half an hour with a solicitor who will be able to give better advice.

One other thought. My ex-wife was able to secure a £170k mortgage on an income of £13k, universal credit, child benefit and child maintenance from me.

You would probably get more like £180k, would that be enough?

You can’t get a mesher as you’re not married
yiu could potentially launch a claim to remain in the house fir a period under schedule 1 of childrens act and

you need to go full time ….

best is to try to come to some sort of arrangement to avoid costly legal bills

If he wants the house sold then he will take you to court. You can use the children’s act to argue that a deferred sale is your only housing option for the children. But he will counter argue that it isn’t and provide evidence to show with your equity that you can afford to rent. Presuming your equity share is sufficient for this.

Your desire to stay on the property, whilst preventing him from being on property ladder and allowing his investment to fall, isn’t a argument under the children’s act. Not being able to claim UC because you have too much money isn’t either.

You want this to be amicable but you are intentionally trying to run down the clock whilst he losses money and is forced to do the thing you don’t want to do, rent. He isn’t stupid and will see through what you are doing. At least be honest and give him a say in what happens.

There are compromises here which you need to be willing to consider. So far you are negging on any option with little justification. You can’t simply expect nothing to change financially or work wise for you. With an 11 and 8 year old and a remote job I don’t see why you can’t work FT in that job. You certainly don’t need FT child care. There are other options, some free.

What I did when I got divorced was keep the house that was put into my name. I took out an extra interest only mortgage to give my ex a down payment to buy a home - it was worth 30 percent of the value of the house. The remaining 20 percent was put down as a charge on the property which I would pay back when my kids left full time education. I couldn't afford to buy him out at that point so I sold up and downsized - as I did paying out my ex and the interest only mortgage.

I'm not sure if you could afford this because it meant I took on the existing repayment mortgage and the interest only mortgage.

The other option might be to put the existing mortgage on interest only but I'm not sure how you help him with his housing issues.

Or the most common solution you sell up and split the proceeds 50:50.

Op is not married
Her share is not negotiable as In a divorce. Her share is based on ownership of the property - tenants in common or joint tenants. If joint tenants 50%, of tenants in common them 50% unless a specific % listed in deed of trust or deeds

It’s not reasonable of you to expect him to rent and tie up all his capital indefinitely because you don’t want to rent

Carry on the way you are going an it will not be amicable, you need to be realistic.

You can't expect him to rent when you don't want to.