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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Buy out or let him wait? Please help.

16 replies

Hehx3 · 30/09/2022 17:48

I am in a lucky position with an option to buy my ex out now, I understand I should count my lucky stars for that. The percentage he will get would be 33% alternatively i could wait another 9 years and buy him out then with percentage of 40%. I keep mulling over that now when they are young I could provide a good start for them having smaller mortgage. Life is already a bit uncomfortable (meaning I can afford for main things but not much in addition definitely no savings). So im more in mindest let him wait but I also know the house prices might go up significantly and he gets more then (but I also think I will have more then too).
If that helps my ex is not going to help them out later and all financial responsibility except very small maintenance payment falls on me since they were very little. Also my youngest has a life long condition and needs therapy too. Help me to find a best way forward please 🙏🏼

OP posts:
womaninatightspot · 30/09/2022 17:52

I think I’d wait and give him 40% with cost of living crisis I’d want to keep some reserves.

Popaholic · 30/09/2022 17:58

Is it literally "now or in 9 years"? Or is it "now or within 9 years" with his % share increasing gradually over time?

I assume the house on a repayment mortgage - do you know if it's on a good fixed rate and for how long?

If it is a scenario in which you can pick any time between now and 9 years time, I would definitely wait. If you have to remortgage now, you'll probably have to accept a much worse rate. And in the next year or so house prices are likely to fall so you stand quite a good chance of getting a better deal - and if you're lucky mortgage rates may have stabilised a bit too.

Popaholic · 30/09/2022 18:02

I meant to add: if the house is currently on a good fixed rate your repayments are paying down more capital, less is wasted on interest). So whoever is paying that mortgage, youd probably be better off staying on your current mortgage product for a while longer to improve the equity in the house which means both you and ex are better off. I think!

If you arent on a good fixed rate now i guess you might consider it differently.

Original poster
Hehx3 · 30/09/2022 18:12

Thank you for your views @I am on variable rate and will want to fix it asap. Its unfortunate i know but I had to wait for divorce to go through courts. I am thi

OP posts:
Original poster
Hehx3 · 30/09/2022 18:17

Sorry posted too soon.
I will be paying around 200 more per month now to pay him off. In 9 years totalling to circa £20k thats basically what would equal with 40%! (Yes assumption is house has the same value...). Isn't that just silly to put myself into that "dangerous" position? My solicitor says its always better financially to buy them out but it isnt really is it? 😵‍💫

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 30/09/2022 20:31

House is likely to be worth more o er a 10 yr period even if they dip short term

BetterFuture1985 · 30/09/2022 20:34

Hehx3 · 30/09/2022 17:48

I am in a lucky position with an option to buy my ex out now, I understand I should count my lucky stars for that. The percentage he will get would be 33% alternatively i could wait another 9 years and buy him out then with percentage of 40%. I keep mulling over that now when they are young I could provide a good start for them having smaller mortgage. Life is already a bit uncomfortable (meaning I can afford for main things but not much in addition definitely no savings). So im more in mindest let him wait but I also know the house prices might go up significantly and he gets more then (but I also think I will have more then too).
If that helps my ex is not going to help them out later and all financial responsibility except very small maintenance payment falls on me since they were very little. Also my youngest has a life long condition and needs therapy too. Help me to find a best way forward please 🙏🏼

I'm a bit confused how you find yourself in this position? If I was your ex and knew you could buy me out now I would force a sale/buy out. You'd only ever be granted a Mesher Order if there was no other choice if it went to court.

Trollcity · 30/09/2022 20:39

If you're financially able, I'd do it now. I know you'll always be tied to him through DC but do you want this financial situation hanging over you another 9 years? I'd much prefer a clean break.

TeaMoreToast · 30/09/2022 20:40

There's something about owning the house and it being yours (and the bank) and nothing to do with him. It will be yours and if you want to move within the 9 years (and you never know how circumstances change), you will have complete freedom to do so. Also any repayments to the capital are yours alone.

IMO, over 10 years house prices are likely to rise. If you wait 9 years and can't afford to buy him out then, will you have to sell and find somewhere to house you and your DC - will you be able to afford somewhere big enough?

I bought my ex out when we divorced. It was such a huge huge relief to not have the house tying us together, but maybe that isn't such as issue for you.

Snugglemonkey · 30/09/2022 20:45

If you can make it work, I would buy him out. It puts you in a much stronger position.

BluesandClues · 30/09/2022 20:48

Buy him out now, not in nine years. You don’t know where you or he will be in nine years time, and do you need it hanging over your head like that.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/09/2022 20:53

Is he happy to wait nearly a decade? Does it mean hr can’t buy again till then?

Original poster
Hehx3 · 01/10/2022 10:01

Thank you all, its where my heart is, I will work through the budget and if I actually can with a bit of reserve then I will try it.xx

OP posts:
tinselvestsparklepants · 01/10/2022 10:05

You need to make the best decision you can for the you that lives here and now. You cannot make the best decision for future you given the volatility of the situation. If it were me I'd do it now, so that I had that security.

Soopermum1 · 03/10/2022 15:28

Buy him out now

Soopermum1 · 03/10/2022 15:31

Just to elaborate. I bought my ex out in March after a very long divorce battle. It felt fantastic with the house being just mine (and the bank's) Between that time and now I first painted the front door, then I painted the entire outside of the house. It felt fantastic to mark it as 'mine'

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