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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

ex husband abandoned us and wants to call the shots when it comes to seeing / not seeing our daughter

4 replies

Fedupmum22 · 18/09/2022 20:13

My husband walked out and literally abandoned me and our two year old daughter on 10 June. I’ve spent the past three and half months recovering, coping, trying to figure out what the hell has happened to my life and how to move forward.

he has literally seen my daughter on two occasions for 7 hours in total - is buggering off to Ibiza for a two week holiday tomorrow and doesn’t so much as check in AT ALL to ask how his daughter is.

i thought his no contact and complete freezing out of us would soften after a month or so once emotions calmed down but I’m literally dumbfounded as how he’s just upped and left and seems to not look back at all.

can any separated parents or those going through a divorce tell me I’m not going mad and this this behaviour is just not normal! How can he just shut off from us and most importantly his little girl???

he works in a bar / restaurant so simply
won’t agree to having her on any kind of every other weekend basis and I’m struggling to see how I’m going to ever be able to move on. He expects me to do everything and for him to just dip in and out like a fun uncle on his terms and when suits him. I’m so disgusted.

OP posts:
Starlightstarbright1 · 18/09/2022 20:26

Unfortunately you need to work on a plan he isn't going to be there.

Does he have a structured night off ?

Surtsey · 18/09/2022 20:31

Well, he's going to have to change his working hours to fit round childcare.

Like millions of other people have to.

thenewduchessoflapland · 18/09/2022 20:45

Well he gets time off each week so could have her one night per week depending on his rota;yes it would change weekly but as long as he's sticking to help routine eg does she go to nursery? then I don't see the issue however in his case he seems like so many other blokes with toddlers ive read about recently to have gotten buyers regret when having kids and wants to act like a single childless man.

I wouldn't be surprised if he opts to disappear from your DD's life.

I hope he's paying maintenance.

millymollymoomoo · 18/09/2022 20:59

Sorry op I hope you are ok

unfortunately there is nothing you can do to make him see her or be a parent. It’s shit but that’s how it is.

Equally if he’s not consistent or reliable simply say no that doesn’t work for me

however please make sure you get cms and ultimately a fair share of any assets based on you having sole care.

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