My H has form for stonewalling, deflecting, gaslighting and defensiveness. Any conversation I try to have with him is met with instant defence and childish tit for tat. I've tried to tell him we need to talk about the terrible communication, lack of affection, lack of intimacy, controlling behaviours, resentment & irritation in our marriage, but he refuses to discuss it.
Once I tell him it's over, what I'd like to do is then move out into a rental while we then sort out divorce and finances. He will be horrible to me once he knows I'm adamant and my mental health can't take it. I'm at breaking point as it is, and he'll set out to make my like hell and to destroy me, so I absolutely can't be in the same house as him while we go through a divorce. I don't care if it means I'm left with less money and I struggle financially for the rest of my life.
I'll be seeing a solicitor in 2 weeks, but I just wondered if I can actually move out? I'm guessing H will want to keep our house. I don't want it. It's mortgaged with equity in it. If I move out and rent, I take it I need to send H half the mortgage each month until financial resolution/divorce? What about bills like utilities? A lot of these are in my name because I manage our finances. Would H become responsible for bills if I'm no longer living there?
We have individual savings and I'd need to use mine to finance the rent and deposit in a rental. Would I be allowed to spend savings in my own name or do they get "frozen" until divorce is sorted?
Obviously I'll check all this with the solicitor in 2 weeks, but I'd like to have a rough idea of what's likely to happen before I start making too many plans.
(No children involved - they're grown up and left home. H and I are both age 58.)