How to manage living together whilst separated?

[Plantoleave]

Hi All,

I’m looking for suggestions on how to make living together easier whilst we sell the house? I'd also appreciate to hear if people have already done this and how they managed.

We are not married and I ensured legal advice was sort to protect both our shares of the house when we moved in together so that should not be an issue. In an ideal world I would just up and leave with the children but financially that can not happen plus I know he would drag it out for years - resulting in solicitors and court orders to enforce a sale.

We have one shared child (8) and two (12,16) older ones (mine) that live with us full time.

Lots of issues going on in the home related to his mental health & alcohol use, ongoing stress caused by his extended family, not worked for several months (currently of sick) and completely opted out of the family/household life unless forced.

I’ve always been the person that has pushed for us to work as a team to tackle problems however after years of trying and it just deteriorating I’ve now got to do my best to protect the children as it’s not improving and unlikely to.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Sorry don’t have any answers myself but bumping for you - hopefully you may have better luck in the morning!
I’m sorry things are so tough for you

We are living in the same house while waiting to get it ready to sell. He previously said he would not sell.

My situation is not the same as yours, so I don’t think it’s much help.

We are both retired and adult children have moved out. We have a small extension which I have now moved into. However I still use the kitchen for cooking and laundry. We do our own washing and cooking. We chat but I will only talk about superficial stuff and he has agreed that divorce stuff should be in writing or through solicitors. Finances are still joint. I should address this but procrastinating as I don’t want another row because he gets too angry.

The best bit is sleeping separately and having privacy in my bedroom, so I would suggest that at minimum even if it’s the couch or sharing a room with one of the kids.

Hi, I’m living with my soon to be ex husband- have been since Covid.
Basically, separate lives under the same roof- separated meals, washing, although I still clean the bathroom, kitchen as he seems incapable! We are still contributing equally towards mortgage and bills.

Evenings he stays in the dining room, I have the lounge, except on Wednesdays when I’m at the office and Sundays which I spend with my mum.

I did it for two years with my now ex-husband. We have 2 children. My ex insisted we share food and the evening meal which I found uncomfortable but we ended up having a massive argument because he was leaving everything to me and I started buying my own food and cooking for the kids and I only on my nights. I spent every evening in my room and left the front room to him. We were mostly civil but there were some really awful arguments. Honestly it was pretty awful but we all survived.

Thank you for all your responses sorry it’s taken me a while to post back.

I honestly don’t know how we are going to do it as he is just not willing to discuss anything without it turning into a full blown row. He’s out tomorrow so I can maybe look at how to rework the bedrooms - it would have been easier a few months ago but we’ve currently got a relative staying with us so the room I could of used is now taken. They are paying rent and whilst they are in the house it helps keep a lid on things so although it’s more difficult space wise it’s better for me that they are here.

He’s told me today that he can be extremely nasty if needed so I know he will make this as difficult as he can 😓