Five months ago we brought our much wanted dd home from the hospital after 4 years of infertility she literally is a dream come true and has pulled me out of a dark hole of depression.
Since that day my relationship with my husband has not been the same we have done nothing but argue mood swings I would have tolerated before I dont any more .
He has ocd and would give of about the state of the house he would never feed her or change a nappy if I was present because I'm on maternity leave so it is my job
He would get jealous of my time off while he had to work . He would get annoyed I wouldnt be at home when he came home from work ( I would take her to the park for hours and push the pram around town )
After a pandemic and nine months of no alcohol I thought he would make more of an effort to spend time with us as a family/ couple he didn't bring me for so much as a lunch though if our outer circle invited us out he would jump at the invite .
After the arguments he would try have sex with me if I refused he slept on the sofa away from me and ignored me for days .
I feel like he is critiaizing me all the time ie if the baby pulls her socks of he'd say things like mummy lets ure feet get cold .
We've tried therapy but have got no where he has just got angry when I explain to the theripist about his mood swings .
Six weeks ago I left and am living with my parents and our dd . He has no family in the country so he had no where to go one day he tells me he is moving out and will give me the family home the next he wants to make it work.
The longer I am here the angrier I am . I think about the things he's done to me and and I'm beginning to hate him I can't believe I let him treat me the way he did
Ie
Not speaking to me for days after a simple argument
Rubbing penut butter in my face cus he was buttering toast and I asked him to lift his daughter when she became unsettled
Throwing the dinner I made him out in the bin Infront of me in a mood cus he didn't like it
Throwing my washing including underwear out in my garden because I left tissue in my pocket
Throwing takeaway sauce over my bedroom walls because I messed the kitchen putting out the takeaway.
Took the blanket of me during the night when I was pregnant after an argument so he could have it and I was left with the dogs blanket.
He held me down by the throat and threatened to rape me in a drunken rage because I said I'd like him to take control think of ideas to spice our sex life up as it was always me doing the gestures.
Would go to my family parties and speak to everyone in the room apart from me.
Would ring my mum to ask her questions on caring for dd because I was neglecting her ie by not cutting her nails
Go in a mood and not speak to me all weekend because he had to cut the grass and I wouldn't help
He genuinely believes I did this stuff to annoy him and that I am suffering postnatal. That I am sick because since the baby was born I have changed .I think I have tbf for the better I'm not depressed anymore.
He has admitted he suffers anxiety and has offered now to do counseling.
We are two strangers and I don't know where to go from here we can't communicate we just argue the thought of him living alone in a rented apartment is heart breaking even though he's treated me so bad I feel so sorry for him alone in this country I'm grieving for the relationship I once had . Seeing him cry is hard as he wants me back but tbh I'm kind of excited about a new life relieved I'm not living with him though so trapped were tied together now for life and scared what he will do as he has no support/ guidence.