I collected the Keys for the rental; however things are not good. Graphic

[Gemski38]

Hey guys

So, I posted about taking the keys for a rental house, but i was so confused about what to do. Well i signed and got the keys friday, however i have not done one thing in the house, as i keep crying, not sure whether to go or not, i feel heart broken and that i have just made the wrong decision.

However, my husband is going from nice, crying, devasted, to then angry, awful attitude, won't accept any of my feelings or the issues i say have led to this.

BUT the biggest one is his constant sexual remarks and actions 😳

Constantly asking for sex, remarks of "let me F you. Let me kiss you. Can we be fuck buddies. texting tell me he is "hard" 😳Horny, he is so frustrated.

Grabbing me, trying to kiss me, asking for sex..

Is this normal behaviour? I feel harassed. Its been the hardest 5 weeks ever since all this split talk started, emotions all over the place, loads of crying and stress, and all he seems to care about is sex 😩He's 41 years old, i find it so odd.

The constant hot and cold, the acting like everything is normal, texting me saying he loves me etc, its a total mind messer

I think im trauma bonded to him after this for the last 10 years 😟

Has anyone been through this? How do i get through it please? i feel so guilty for leaving, i know i need to change this way of thinking x

Go. Leave. You took the huge step of getting the rental you can take the next step and go. He is abusing you. You can do this.

Yes go. Personally I have found that when there has been a big decision I've wanted to just bury my head. But deep down it's the right thing to do, and despite those feelings once I force myself to go through with it then I find it was right and I feel at peace. Good luck

It's called love-bombing. It's in the Dickhead Arsehole's Playbook on page 1. He's trying to bring you back into the fold so he can carry on being a twat and he's not very good at it.

Your response is based on the fact you think the good things are the "real him" on some level and that he can be the nice person again all the time when the opposite is true. It's really hard to leave someone when they're putting this act on, even intermittently, because the nice side of him is the "reward" your brain is conditioned to crave.

You can't see it because you're in the middle of it but going to that rental is the answer to everything you have written. You can't possibly think clearly or work out how you actually feel with the chaos of his behaviour going on around you, please go, as soon as you can.

I suspect once you're there and you've closed the front door for the first time you will feel a massive sense of relief, and that will tell you all you need to know about whether you're right to leave him. But you have to make that leap, and you can't go on as you are can you?

Go for one night as a first step to get your head together. He is behaving badly, you need space. Hopefully after one night of peace, you will be happy to stay there.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Has this method of influencing you worked in the past? If it has it's a pattern and you need to break it. Change the way you react.
Ask a friend for help about how to reciprocate and rehearse it again and again in your mind. You have to fake it until you make it.
Just try and remember how he makes you feel, is that what you want for the rest of your life?
You deserve better. He needs to treat you better. It's your choice to make - a hard one, but take one step at a time.
Move out, take your time, make a decision when you are calmer. When I lived by myself I found the person I really wanted to be. The person I wasn't for a very long time. I hope you find that clarity too (whichever path you choose). Wishing you good luck, strength, hope, and happiness.