How/what to tell 5 year old about separation?

[Cluckycluck]

My husband left yesterday. We've been struggling through the last year but he's now decided it is time to go. He's gone off to a hotel for the time being until we can figure out something more permanent for him.

How do we tell our 5 year old? What information do we need to provide her with? Do we need to wait to tell her until we know where he is going to live?

I don't know how I'm going to make it through telling her. She adores her daddy and is going to be devastated.

I had to do this when my DD was 5. I told her in very simple terms - something like “mummy and daddy won’t be living in the same house any more”. She did ask why so I said “because we have had lots of arguments and we think we will not argue as much now”

I also focussed on the positives - that she had a bedroom and toys in both places and that we both loved her very much.

She took it at face value.

Good luck

Thank you.

We don't know where he will be living so I can't give her comfort about having space at daddy's house. I'm just worried that will be make it more confusing for her.

We went with ‘mummy and daddy have decided that we’d be happier living in separate houses’ and told them they’d have two houses, a home with each of us. In your situation I’d say that Daddy’s staying in the hotel while he finds a home for him and her. I’d definitely go with the two homes angle rather than Daddy having left her home, iyswim.

Children were absolutely fine with it, if that helps.

My youngest was 4 when his Dad and I separated. I just told him that Daddy wouldn't living with us anymore. I explained that because of all the arguments it hadn't been a happy home for anyone and that sometimes it was better for grownups to live apart. I reassured him that we both still loved him and that he would still see Daddy lots.

He was very accepting of the whole situation and is very well adjusted and happy. My old two children found it much harder though. I think the younger they are, the easier it is for them to accept.

Thank you for all the advice.

I've told her that he has gone away for work and will be back at the weekend. We will tell her then. I don't think either of us are ready to have to talk about the practicalities of splitting yet so we are giving ourselves the week to gather thoughts and feelings. We both still love each other but we just don't seem to be able to make one another happy anymore.

Maybe the positive can be that she will have a bedroom she can have decorated however she likes when they have found their new house.