The end is nigh

[Smellywellyhoo]

Need to tell DP tonight. I want to split and I know he won't. We have a civil partnership so will need a dissolution (basically the same as divorce). I am dreading it but also so fed up of pretending we still have a chance. There are children involved but that's of the reason we are splitting (it's complicated.

You can do it. Just take a deep breath and get the words out, you will feel so much better for doing so. I hope it went okay x

Good luck. It isn't easy, but keep your eye on the reasons you're doing this x

Thank you. Having to wait till kids are in bed and we have peace and quiet.

How odd the messages have been withdrawn at poster's request?

Good luck 😍

I was lucky so relieved when husband said we’re beyond saving. Actually getting on better now we know what’s happening, good luck get the words out I hope it goes ok for you.

Told him. He was understandably shocked but also tried to minimise all our problems despite me having raised them recently. He didn't seem to believe me.

Like with a lot of couples, our situation is complicated because of finances, assets, kids etc and will take a lot of untangling.

I need to not let myself get drawn back in because of guilt and the fact that I do still care about him- he isn't a bad person but he is just a friend. Not a best friend or a close friend.

He is being super nice today, it's pretty weird. I have said we can talk more tomorrow. I'm keen for us to start to try to sort finances etc and tell the kids but I know I need to give him some time to process it.

I'm in the same boat as you OP.
Lots of untangling of finances, assets and kids. I've told my partner but he seems to want to salvage what we have. He's blaming my menopause ( admittedly that's not helping!).

Best of luck to you. It seems an overwhelming journey but we have to start somewhere don't we?

In the same boat as you, I’ve had enough been married 10years nothings changed same crap all the time I get the blame for everything pretty much.. called all sorts of names.. talking horribly about my family I got two young kids..which I do everything for he hardly does much.. just at a point now since Friday I’ve had enough.. we had a massive massive argument and I’ve just had enough it’s like this near enough all the time and I just can’t mentally do it no more x

I was in the same position as you four years ago although my children were a lot older so it was less complicated financially etc. I regret not making the break when they were younger and let myself be persuaded by my husband that we could make things work and I convinced myself that I could feel differently if I tried harder. I was fooling myself and it was many years later that I decided enough was enough. We were living as friends and nothing more and it wasn’t enough. I’m much happier now on my own and I’m still friends with my ex husband even though he is now on his second girlfriend after breaking off engagement to the first one! There will be ups and downs and lots of doubts that you’ve done the right thing but you will know deep down that it is the right thing for you and your children. I found a blog called “Divorced Girl Smiling” really helpful while I was going through everything. Good luck 😉

God how I wish I'd stayed firm with my decision. Still have all the same problems three months on and now I have no courage left to end it again.

It's never too late.

You can do it, OP. You found the courage before. What happened?

The usual- money, kid, security, house, lifestyle etc. 😢