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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Likely Divorce Settlements

14 replies

lauloo22 · 02/09/2022 14:03

Hi,
Anyone had a court decide on divorce settlement?
Going through a divorce currently and can’t agree with my ex re finances, he is trying to force me to go to mediation now after failing to agree via solicitors.

Background – we have 3 kids – a girl 8, and two boys (one 15 and one 16).
I work part time in the evenings.

Ex not a higher earner – around 40k a year.

Marriage failed as we grew apart and he accused me of an affair.

I’m only on minimum wage, although I did have a professional job before Covid.
I want to continue part time work only as I’ve been part time for some time now and want to be at home for my youngest after school.

Anyone had any experience of going to court and what did the judge decide?
Assets – house worth around 350k.

Mortgage around 130k, so 210k equity and I cannot get a mortgage as only part time so cannot buy my ex out.

Not enough for me to get a similar 3 bedroom house.
Ex is offering to retain his percentage share of property from the date he left and to wait until the youngest is 18 for the house to be sold and for him to get his % out.

However he refuses to pay half for house refurb costs – needs a new bathroom and kitchen and refuses to pay for maintenance jobs either.
He is no longer paying his share of the mortgage either.
What would the likely split be if it went to court?
Feedback appreciated as to what would be a reasonable settlement. Solicitors haven'T been that reassuring...

OP posts:

wobytide · 02/09/2022 16:20

The solicitors will have a better grasp than people here unfortunately. They will know and see what goes through the courts and is ratified on a regular basis. If you've spoken to more than one and they've given similar potential outcomes then start with that as your base and then work out what else you fee you would need and what options you may have to achieve that

Original poster

lauloo22 · 02/09/2022 16:31

Thx. Frustrating with solicitor as they won't give me definites. I wish there was some kind of guide so you can see what is and is not reasonable and what I should be settling on. I just wanted to know what other people had agreed/settled so I have a better idea, as solicitor only says a court may decide this or that, but won't say with any real certainty...

OP posts:

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 02/09/2022 16:42

There are no certainties as each case is very individual. You may get the agreement to keep the house till 18 however you won't get agreement for him to pay the maintenance or mortgage costs for the home. If you can't afford it then you will be ordered to sell it and split assets but you may get more than 50% then but like you say you won't be able to buy another house big enough.

If you want to stay there then part time work won't be an option

Original poster

lauloo22 · 02/09/2022 16:52

Thank you for the replies so far. Currently I get government help to cover the mortgage costs.

OP posts:

Fuuuuuckit · 02/09/2022 17:43

Unfortunately if you can't afford it then you will need to sell.

You will be expected to maximise your income and go full time, (barring SEN/disabilities) there will be zero expectation for him to supplement your income while you stay p/t. Zero.

He WILL be expected to pay CMS. Is he currently staying in the home? If so, he should be making some contribution to the bills and mortgage.

Unless the toilet is unusable and there is no cooking facility, the house does not need a new bathroom or kitchen - if you want to improve it (assuming you are allowed to remain in the house) that cost is on you.

Him staying on the mortgage until the youngest is 18 seems reasonable at which point you could buy him out or sell to release his share of the equity.

Bottom line is go full time and see if you are eligible for any top-up benefits. Add in his CMS contribution, see what your mortgage affordability will be then. Needs (ie increase income) trump wants (ie stay at home with dc) at this time.

Original poster

lauloo22 · 02/09/2022 17:49

No he left about 2 years ago now. I've been in the home with the kids since then. He stopped paying the mortgage when he left so I've relied on government help to cover it. He pays CMS.

OP posts:

toooldtodate · 02/09/2022 21:51

I'm going through separation/divorce at the moment

One thing I can say is that a court would take a dim view you of your saying you can't work full time when you have a primary age child
You'll be expected to maximise your earnings and if not then your DH solicitors will provide evidence of higher paid jobs you could do to argue the settlement in their favour

Fuuuuuckit · 03/09/2022 03:37

lauloo22 · 02/09/2022 17:49

No he left about 2 years ago now. I've been in the home with the kids since then. He stopped paying the mortgage when he left so I've relied on government help to cover it. He pays CMS.

So for 2 years you've been working p/t, all the while expecting your ex to pay the mortgage AND his own rent AND CMS AND cough up for a new kitchen and bathroom in a house he no longer lives in?

I suspect your solicitors HAVE given you quite a clear idea of what to expect, but unfortunately you aren't listening to them.

As he is on a reasonably standard income he will not be expected to pay any further contributions other than CMS. Short-term this means that if you can't afford to live in the former matrimonial home on your own income you will need to either increase your income or downsize/sell. It really is that simple.

What him and his team are offering is quite normal. He is offering to enable you and the dc to stay in the house and wait 10 years before receiving his share of the £210k equity. He is paying his cms contribution (c£540 a month assuming he has the kids 2 nights a week) plus rent and his own bills.

The obvious thing when it comes to finances after divorce is that between you, there are now 2 homes to run. So you must both make cut-backs and maximise your earnings.

You can't get blood out of a stone op, and whilst there may be wranglings over the equity and what proportion is split, and when, I think yabvvu to expect to carry on as you were before expecting your ex to pay more for the house YOU live in whilst you refuse to work f/t.

TooHotToTangoToo · 03/09/2022 03:44

Similar to my situation. He left and signed a deed of trust, that meant he stayed on the mortgage but paid nothing towards the mortgage or refurbishment of the house. But he'd only take his 50% of the equity at the time he left. Which meant I could continue to live in the house, and any further equity would be mine alone. It meant I didn't have to remortgage, could stay in the house until the dc left full time education, but all costs were down to me.

Itsallok · 03/09/2022 04:46

Suspect you are getting good advice. You just don’t like it. You will need to earn up to your potential or sell and rent. Your ex is responsible for cms not for you to sit on your arse when are capable of earning a decent full time wage. Frankly two years in a house you refuse to pay for us taking the pisf

millymollymoomoo · 03/09/2022 06:35

Is he willing to stay on the mortgage or just defer his share of capital / they are not the same

om his salary it’s likely that house would be ordered for sake and share split with you possibly getting a higher share of capital

him staying on mortgage will massively impact his own ability to buy a house - is that fair?

tou will be expected to take on paying the full mortgage and bills for the property and will need to pass mortgage affordability checks

you will be expected to work full time and there is zero reason why you can’t you just dont want to

id say he is being more than fair tbh

millymollymoomoo · 03/09/2022 06:37

It’s also rare to have equity fixed at risk e if heaving / divorce - far more likely in a mesher situation % of capital is based on equity at time of sage and rightly so as their share is tied up and unable to invest it elsewhere

LemonTT · 03/09/2022 09:28

I don’t see any of this being tenable. Especially if he meets someone else or wants to buy his own property. Even if he doesn’t, and that would be rare, in 2 years your CMS and benefits drop and then again the year afterwards.

In the meantime you are on a low income which will impact on your later lifer, pension and ability to buy a home when this one is sold. Kicking the house sale down the road for 10 years means you are just pushing a huge financial problem down the road.

I think you need to take your head out of the sand before he does. Because it won’t be long before someone tells him how bad this arrangement Is for him as well.

LemonTT · 03/09/2022 09:36

Sorry just to reply to your question. Your divorce settlement will be based in your needs. There are two issues for your situation. First that this will be calculated based on your maximised income. If you are able to work more hours then that will be used in the calculation.

The second problem is that your older children will soon factor out of your needs calculations when they reach 18. A divorce could easily take that long.

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