I should have addressed this months ago, but am still hoping this separation is not permanent....
Will try to keep this as brief and non-outing as possible.
H moved out several months ago. He has continued paying his half of the mortgage, and the utility bills. i.e. how our set up had always been. I have always paid for food and all the children's needs. Children are both in private schools, H has paid most of the bills for this over the years, with me contributing as needed. The general day to day spending was split about 50:50, with him then paying more for things like house/garden maintenance, holidays etc. It always felt quite balanced to me. He disagrees, and that’s part of why he left.
We are both full time working high earners, but he earns about double what I do. His job does not allow for childcare/school runs because of commute time. He has not had the children for a single night since leaving because of where he is living. He has stayed at home occasionally but not recently and I have had only one weekend away from kids/home since he left.
I cannot afford the whole mortgage etc on my own. At the moment, I am keeping afloat financially, but I rarely had anything left over before he left. So, now picking up all the extra house/garden costs is a challenge. Plus, the increase in food/fuel costs etc...
Because I am hoping this is temporary, I am in two minds as to what to do at this point.
Do I continue with the status quo financially, not raise the subject and accept things as they are while trying to work things out with him? If I do raise it what would be a reasonable interim financial split? Until/unless we sell the house, he should still be contributing, so this doesn't count as child maintenance, but he does pay the school fees.
I got legal advice a while back and they advised that if we divorce he would likely end up paying both the school fees and child maintenance because of our salary disparity, and that the house would have to be sold so I could afford somewhere else. I suspect I may need to get a solicitor to draw something up and emphasise to him that this is a temporary solution. Although maybe the blunt reality of what it is going to cost him might wake him up (although I don't want money to be the thing that brings him home).
Thanks. That didn't end up very short!