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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Divorce without Form E

44 replies

parkloaf · 30/08/2022 19:56

So just looking for advice Really - disparity between DH income and mine - I earn a lot more (but not mega money - just in comparison to him).

DH has recently walked out but seems wanting to separate amicably.....at the moment

I'm hoping that he will just agree to a DIY divorce so just wondering on the steps on that?

Also the difference between Form E and a Consent Order - I downloaded Form E but honestly DH will never provide the back up documents required - not that he has anything to hide but honestly he's just so disorganised - but if he's not going to contest anything then do we really need Form E?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 31/08/2022 12:58

The thing to consider is while you have huge childcare costs now that will diminish in a few years. And then you gave 3x salary and ability to mortgage

why does he not want the children more ?? Is that likely to change over time ?

parkloaf · 31/08/2022 14:09

@Iliveonahill

Yes he has relative to his earnings of course

OP posts:
parkloaf · 31/08/2022 14:16

@millymollymoomoo

He has never maximised his earnings potential as I've always been his safety net so he could earn maybe double what he does now if he applied himself and without the distraction of family life.

Childcare costs are going to be needed for many years - even when the twins start school before/after school will be circa £800 a month

It would be very outing to say why he doesn't want them more but it's to do with not wanting family life anymore

OP posts:
Iliveonahill · 31/08/2022 15:15

Ultimately if you put all of the assets and debts in a pot including pensions (remember a lot of women do not maximise their income for various reasons) and split it 50:50 are you being fair? As you are housing the kids you may get a higher %age. Ie 60:40 but ultimately a judge would want to ensure that you both have somewhere to live ie with a mortgage or rental. He would still need somewhere that he could have the kids to stay (whatever your thoughts are a judge would assume that the father will want access) so a bedsit would not be suitable. He needs a one or two bedroom property. Lots to think about. You might be housing the kids but as the main income earner you can’t just assume he will walk away with just equity from the house. If I was him I would be expecting some pension equalisation. The debts are short term.

parkloaf · 31/08/2022 15:43

@Iliveonahill

Yes lots to think about

I'm happy to give him more equity so that he can buy a home rather than a share of my pension. I don't even want CMS as if I pursue that he really will struggle to "live" decently - even though he has treated me and the children appallingly I don't want that for him - to have a miserable life.

That being said I can't afford more than 50/50 equity split otherwise I wouldn't be able to house 3 children who would reside with me 80-90% of the time. With 50% he is able - together with a small mortgage afford a 2 bed apartment in a very nice area. (We do actually have a tenancy in common mortgage which is 75/25 in my favour which although marriage trumps that my solicitor says that it may not be totally disregarded)

The reality is that with childcare bills my mortgage raising ability is less than him especially if I take on all the debt - 2 of which are 10 year loans that have barely started.

The solicitor said if he doesn't contest the proposal and we provide detailed evidence and justification for the offer then it should be acceptable

OP posts:
Lanesdown · 31/08/2022 15:55

I bought ex out of the family home a year ago. He has his own home as well. I don't want anything from him financially and he doesn't want anything of mine. We're effectively already in a clean break financially. I am about to start the divorce and know I need to do a more formal financial clean break but are there alternatives to this either of these forms???. Has anyone just done a short half page document saying don't care not interested in anything from the other person now or ever and I sign in blood!!

So likewise don't want to fill in the forms if I can help it.

parkloaf · 31/08/2022 16:04

@Lanesdown

That might be the D81 form that someone on the thread mentioned?

OP posts:
parkloaf · 31/08/2022 16:04

Also another question

Do both of us complete Form E - ie he does one and I do one? Or do we do one form and the solicitor uses this to draft the consent order?

OP posts:
Gensola · 31/08/2022 16:11

You each do a form E and then one solicitor drafts the consent order, both sides check and approve it /make adjustments and then it goes to court to be sealed by a judge.

parkloaf · 31/08/2022 16:21

@Gensola

Gosh so complicated

He is 1000% never going to complete it
I doubt he even knows any of the financial information in fact I know he doesn't because he's never taken an interest

OP posts:
WiggleyPuff · 31/08/2022 16:31

It depends. Technically if he agrees you don’t need to fill in form e - your solicitor drafts a consent order which is approved or not approved. The evidence would be so each of you know the other is being fair.

My ex is the higher earner, he completed his form E without providing the information and so we went to court to get it.

parkloaf · 31/08/2022 17:05

@WiggleyPuff

Ah that's the answer I was looking for!

I think I'll start with that option - I don't think he can think I've hidden anything. He knows we dont actually have that much money - we don't have flash cars, can't afford foreign holidays. It was only in the last 3 months that I've gotten a significant pay rise which would have meant life finally becoming easier with plans to move to a bigger house or extend ours and even a foreign holiday planned. All of that is gone now of course

OP posts:
Eleyne · 06/09/2022 07:42

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Eleyne · 06/09/2022 07:51

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BuildersTeaMaker · 08/09/2022 10:41

i think you’re confusing form E and consent order

so, courts have duty of care to ensure a “fair” fincnail settlement irrespective if you have the courts decide via an imposed financial settlement or a consent order you’ve both agreed on.

you can agree anything in theory in a consent order.
But the court needs the evidence of what that amounts to and then will determine if that meets the 10 or so criteria for “fair settlement”. You can find these 10 criteria on line at the Mediate site or ADVICE NOW site.

The form that the courts need to “seal” (make legal) your consent order is a D81, not form E. D81 is a summarised version of Form E . Form E only goes into courts if you’re asking them to make a financial settlement.

what you need to do is the pair of you sit down, fill out form E and ensure you’ve both declared everything. Then summarise that on Form E .
Then agree between you what is fair bearing in mind those criteria.
Write it out as clearly as possible and remeber courts prefer a clean break.

only then go to a solicitor and ask for them to JUST draw up the legal draft. This puts your words into legal speak. It may cost you around £500-800 .
You will need to legally sign this and your D81 to say youhave both fully disclosed your financial status

once your divorce petition (which you do NOT need a solicitor for now) gets to hte intermix orde stage (what was decree nisi and I can’t remember what new term is now), your solicitor then logs the draft consent order and D81 with courts. They’ll then review and seal at decree final or whatever it’s now called.

one way to offset the court coming back at point of sealing and asking why your consent order is not”fair” at face value is to show you both have taken legal advice . So one of you will have in terms of whose solicitor draws up the draft. The other person just, at minimum is wise to get a single session with a solicitor who will run through what they’re signing and implications.
You can then put both solicitors names referenced in the D81 and consent agreement and that gives courts more confidence .
You can also put a very brief explanation in hte small notes box in D81 to explain any perceived unfariness- get solicitor to do this too and they know how to phrase it to keep brief but meaningful.

in my case it was uneven. We did all that and it went through with no issues at all.

my biggest advice to you is to download the ADVICE NOW guide to making a fincnail settlement. Search under advice now and look at their guides on divorce . They cost about £20 per guide but this is a fraction of the cost of an hour of a solicitors time.
The guides are designed to tell you what the process is and forms, and will tell you what you must use solicitor for, what you don’t need a solicitor for and what you may choose to use a solicitor for. They also provide a list of approved solicitors that will do just the individual task you need at low cost. Advice now is a uk charity set up by lawyers trying to make legal work accessible.

me and ex spent £1600 ish on our entire divorce following these Advice Now
guides (this was last year before the new divorce act changes). We were divorced in 12 weeks form petition to decree final- so it worked really well for us.
We worked together parking our acrimony and hurt so that we could do it quickly and cheaply. It was surprisingly stress free and easy. Buying my new house was waaaaaayyyy more stressful and painful 🤣🤦‍♀️

BuildersTeaMaker · 08/09/2022 10:44

I think, reading your later points, that a starting point is to ensure your husband knows he will HAVE to make a full financial declaration. This is a requirement in law because the courts have this duty of care. He ain’t going to avoid that and the sooner he accepts it and knuckles down to just filling in a form E with you, then summarising as form D81 the quicker and cheaper the whole divorce will be.

StaplesCorner · 08/09/2022 12:13

Was just googling as I have similar questions; this came up:

www.brookman.co.uk/financial-issues/form-d81-consent-orders

I also looked at form D81 and as other posters have said, you'd need to refer to a form E for all the info - its for your own benefit really. I think I'd struggle with form D81 on my own and be worried the court might throw it out - as you have young children (which makes the court feel they have to dig deeper) I really think you will have to get a solicitor to write your form D81. Just my take on it and I think I am saying more or less the same as @BuildersTeaMaker - I know its frustrating but I think in many ways this new process is harder than before no fault came in!

parkloaf · 08/09/2022 20:40

The form that the courts need to “seal” (make legal) your consent order is a D81, not form E. D81 is a summarised version of Form E . Form E only goes into courts if you’re asking them to make a financial settlement.*

Thanks @BuildersTeaMaker

That's makes sense. I think I was getting confused as STBEXH is saying he wants an amicable agreement - he definitely can't afford to take it to court - in fact he's prepared to take less than I am offering but I'd rather give him close to what he is "entitled" to and thought well if he wants to keep Ito it of course why do we need to go through the form e which looks really mind blowing why can't we just do a simple form / tell solicitors what we'd like them to draft in the consent order

OP posts:
Shibby585 · 13/09/2022 14:09

Husband did his divorce from his ex wife in 2020/21. Child involved and a one off lump sum plus maintenance outlined in consent order.

D81 was what we filled out, didn't do a form E. Consent order was signed off fine by the judge.

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