Seperation when not married

[Blendiful]

Hi,

Not sure on how this works/legalities and wondering if someone may know. Relationship has been about 4 years long, lived together for around 3 of those. House is in my name only. He has paid towards house but only for about 16 months in total due to covid etc. (half of mortgage). Obviously we have purchased joint things in the house but tbh I am happy for him just to take whatever he wants and I'll replace what I wanted to still use.

I don't want to fob off with nothing but in reality 16 months of paying half isn't that much considering a lot is interest etc.

Half of bills is just gone because obviously that's paid off bills.

House has had some work decorating etc.

I just wondered in a legal vs moral sense, what people think would be fair to give. I mean essentially he's paid a lot less on half the mortgage than he would have had to pay renting somewhere alone (around £500 a month less!) but I don't want to be an arse and effectively I just want it done easily.

Legally it can be a bit of a grey area. While not automatically entitled to anything I believe there have been cases where, the person not named has paid a lot towards the house (like mortgage or significant work done to the property and have taken it to court and won. The person named on the property has had to pay something.

I say ‘I believe’ as I have only seen that spoke about on MN. I haven’t seen any evidence of it. Not that I have really looked, but i can’t say 100%.

It’s also an expensive process so unless the mortgage is a fortune, 16 months payments probably wont be worth it.

Morally, who can say? If you can replace the joint items, offer him all the joint stuff. When you start thinking about it morally, all sorts could come into it. How much was the mortgage vs their income, what situation would you have been in if they hadn’t helped, whose fault was the split, is there kids on either side etc.

This is why the law takes the law into account and not opinions on what’s ‘fair’ that’s much more difficult.

Kids on both sides but none together. I can afford to live alone and could have done without them paying anything.

There are some other joint assets like a car etc. it's been a massively 'they've benefited from me' situation in most big ways I think. They have contributed half and have covered costs of some other things. But in terms of major expenses, they've benefitted living with me and low mortgage payments. We have had loans/CC for various things, all in my name (they couldn't have got them).

Income is probably about the same on both sides.

I will be left shouldering all remaining debt as this is all in my name, I will have to figure out how to repay this alone. Such as the car, if it is sold it won't make enough to cover the remaining loan anyway so I am left with that to pay and it isn't something I would have gotten alone.

I will come out of this situation worse off, but I just want to give them an amount and for them to be done with it, I feel technically I could offer nothing given I will be left with all debt, but I don't want to do this as it'll cause problems and I just want the easiest separation possible.

I don't think you owe him anything here at all. Legally you don't and morally it's been too short a time and he effectively just paid rent.

How about they keep the car?

Could afford for them to keep the car, I'd be paying a fortune a month for another 4 years and have no car when I have to have one for my job, I wouldn't be able to afford to replace and keep paying the loan. We've only had it a year.

Couldn't that was supposed to say.

He's been a lodger paying rent, he hasn't been paying half the mortgage and he's not named on it so you don't have to give anything, morally or legally. As you've said he's benefitted from living with you and you're taking the debt (and the car I hope) so just let him have joint furniture and call it quits x

This is how I feel, it's literally like £250 a month they've paid, rent where we are would be about £650-800 a month. Obviously they could have been with someone else but that's beside the point as technically so could I.

Car we have paid half each of a years worth of payments but obviously both used it. If I gave it to them they would be getting around 10k of a car and I'd be paying around £14k for them to have that and be left with no car, and the rest of the debt and paying everything alone.

I can't really afford the car even if I keep it; but don't really have much choice as selling won't cover all of the loan and I would still need a car. We have a second car which is not worth much (which funnily currently I use more than the other as I use for work) they can have this car.

well simply put work out how much rent they have saved / mortgage they paid

then how much is the debt
how much was spent on joint purchases

then you can work out how much they should walk away with, may even be they owe you more

Could afford for them to keep the car, I'd be paying a fortune a month for another 4 years and have no car when I have to have one for my job, I wouldn't be able to afford to replace and keep paying the loan. We've only had it a year
in that case then keeping the car would be over generous.
you could offer they keep all house joint purchases and that’s it as they’d have to pay for rent all the time they lived with you.

Yes I did do this. Worked out how much they had effectively paid off the mortgage (not interest) actual payments off of the balance. I would be happy to give them this back.

They feel hard done by on this as say they have paid a lot into the house. It's decorating mainly, but a lot of this was funded through money where things were sold though we will have put some towards it, I can't remember nor work out how much. They feel they've spent thousands on the house, I know they haven't.

Plus they and their children have benefitted living in it for 3 years also, which is why we decorated it.

Appliances and furniture wise etc. i would prefer they just take whatever they want that we bought together, even if that leaves me with hardly anything, I'd rather just start again and not have to faff about with that. As some stuff I wouldn't replace and if they wanted to sell it to get some of the cash they can.

I would be willing to give them what they have paid on the balance of the mortgage back, plus the second car (which I will have also paid half of). And then they can take whatever they want from the house. I think this is fair. They don't.

Sadly, I don’t think whatever you offer will be suitable for them 😐
I think if you offer the second hand car, appliances / furniture they want (that were joint purchases) then that should be enough.
If you feel you want to offer some ‘rent money’ back that is up to you and if that maybe gives them enough for a deposit to rent a new home, then that is fair enough.
Good luck as I’m sure it’s a stressful time for you

I think sadly you are probably right. It will never seem enough no matter what I offer or do.

Going to just have to brace myself I think. Just wanted to make sure first I am not way off the mark, or legally going to encounter any issues later.

I would be happy to give them the rent money back so that they can then rent somewhere else for themselves and their kids.

There's more complicated intertwined stuff but it's just stuff I will have to sort out later down the line. This is the first hurdle.

In your OP you state that he has been paying half the mortgage. Taken at face value that’s not paying rent.

A mortgage payment is something made as part of the purchase of an asset. Asking someone to contribute to paying the mortgage isn’t the same as asking them to pay rent. This is we’re you may have problems.

What exactly was the arrangement and the language used? If you were talking about jointly paying the mortgage and therefore jointly buying the house then a case could be built. Which is why people need to be really clear about this type of arrangement.

it’s perfectly reasonable to ask someone to pay rent if you provide a roof over their head. As long as you are clear it is just that.

Fortunately I would say any interest he could feasibly claim would be small and not worth the risk of court fees. But you never know he could see it differently.

if you do buy him off, get a legal statement confirming he has no interest in the property.

Did he give you cash? Or transfer money - or pay direct. Mine transferred me a lump sun each month - court took it as rent. 300 for him and his childrens rent. Sell or trade back in the car and split what is left. Nothing joint taken just he takes his stuff

hes getting a good deal and could have saved loads with you

The money is transferred to me, along with bills money. It all then comes out of my account on direct debits.

Tbh even if he could claim it all back I would just give him what he paid. The house was already bought by me and all equity etc is mine. He didn't want his name on it, and I've refused anyway currently due to another issue. So it's just the 'half the mortgage payment' we had it where he didn't contribute towards that for a while until we were all settled

Morally and legally you don’t owe him anything. He’s simply been renting only from you ( cheaper) than privately

he does not have a beneficial interest in the property.