Looking for advice...

[Jane798]

I think I am almost ready to say out loud that I want out. He treats me like shit most of the time and I don't think I can live my life like this anymore.
I think I am looking for practical advice in terms of settlement, finances, custody.
We own a house jointly with around 140,000 equity and around 15,000 in savings. From what he has recently said I think our pensions are about the same (although I can't see how as I had 2 years out of work on maternity). He currently earns 20,000 more than me.
I am not looking for legal advice here obviously just I guess if anyone is in a similar situation. Would it be 50/50? Would his salary have an impact? If 50/50 custody what does that means in terms of child support/benefit?

50:50 custody means no child support.

Assets will be split according to need. Leaving aside the pensions, as the lower earner you could get a larger share as you need to borrow more to afford a new home.

Pensions are valued differently from other assets. There are also lots of different types of pensions that have been offered by employers. A lower salary and a gap of a couple of years might not make a lot of difference. I had a bigger gap but a far better pension offer from my employer. Ended up being more or less equal. Worth asking for pension statements to check things.

30k difference in sajary probably considered a massive imbalance

important to understand are

ages of children
length of marriage
earnings and potential earnings ( both parties expected to maximise)
hosuing needs of both parties and how these can be met
avility to pay mortgage / bills
will house be sold and split or will one party buy the other out - can that be achieved immediately or will it need to be deferred
pensions accrued sonde marriage and ability to bold up ( eh at 30 there is 30* years, at 60 not long)

if both parents have 50:50 no maintenance due
is 50:50 in best interests of children? What patterns will that look like, 1 week on one off, something different? If not 50:50 what pattern ? etc etc

20k not 30k…