Ex partner refusing to co-operate over house

[jennakong]

Left my children's father 7 years ago, he stayed in the family home, wouldn't budge and we have been renting ever since. The family home took a bad hit in value after the crash and is only starting to creep back to what we paid, so selling seemed pointless until recently. He can't afford a buy out. I discussed a sale in the near future and he seemed agreeable. I contacted an EA last week and arranged with him to meet my ex at the house at 4 pm today. He had agreed to knock off work a bit earlier. Of course the phone rings at 4.10pm and I have to apologise to a very pissed off estate agent who's wasted his time sitting outside, no sign of my ex, no contact (he blocks my calls anyway), no explanation. He has never been reliable, is prone to tantrums, and has a new partner, and clearly couldn't care less about his children, has made minimal contact since he met her. He has neglected the house badly too. What is my next step please? We are joint tenants on the title and I cannot afford to fight this through the courts. I am actually still on the mortgage as he can't bother his bone idle ass to change anything about this either! Can a solicitor force him to agree to a valuation? What if he moves this new woman in without my knowledge, would this be viewed as breach of mortgage conditions? Any legal advice appreciated.

Court won't cost that much and will force him to sell.

Thank you but will a court be able to force him to let a valuer in?

Someone i know stalled on selling after a divorce the judge gave her a year to sell and she HAD to list the house, after the year was up the ex then was given power over Estate Agents and could list the house for Auction if they wanted.
Your Judge can force him to let them in.

I'm in a kind of similar situation in that I left the marital home 2 years ago. Left the dust to settle until the start of this year and contacted my solicitor but stbxh was ignoring all contact, blocked me on everything, ignoring solicitors letters.

Eventually a letter was sent out mentioning court action so he got himself a solicitor, but so far the only communication from them (end of May) was to say they'd been appointed. Letters to them haven't been answered.

I'm in Scotland, not sure about you OP. I've been told by my solicitor that court action is likely to be at least £10k, closer to £15k

It's funny how you see the real person once you've separated

Sorry I have no practical advice for you as I'm very much in my own frustrating situation, but I can sympathise

Thanks for replies. Yes, court is horrendously expensive. I am in NI, where our legal process is not just even more horrendously expensive & complicated, but very slow, like years to wait for a hearing, exacerbated by the Covid backlog. Sometimes people ask me why I left and not him, but some people won't compromise or co-operate, and it is still the case with him.

You need proper legal advice but personally I would threaten to move back in to the house, and be prepared to do it, which you are perfectly entitled to do if he won’t cooperate with the house sale. That might encourage him to get his shit together.

Honestly @Flatandhappy I am very tempted to do just that! I handed the place over in good faith and it upsets me badly to see how he has neglected it. I was just round looking at it today (he was out somewhere) and the garden is deplorable. It was a nice family home and is now a squalid slum. I wonder if the severity of the neglect might give me grounds to demand it back - my children are still quite young (15 with SN,13 and 11) and it is a joint asset after all, the value of which is being seriously depreciated.

Move back
take charge
force it through court

tell him this is what’s now happening and stop allowing him to control things

I’d take it back. You own it too. If he doesn’t like it, he can move out. I’d be making the house good and making sure it’s ready to sell.
I wouldn’t wait for him to let EA’s in, I’d go there when he’s out and let EA in.

I don't have keys, I wish to god I did. I have searched everywhere for the set I did have.

Is there any way of having a formal report done on a house, either by an EA or a surveyor, to estimate the damage to value caused by neglect, lack of reasonable maintenance etc?

There is no excuse, he works a normal pattern, five days a week and has no shortage of money btw - inherited some and has tens of thousands in the bank, though I'd say he's spending quite a bit on his new gf.

Call a locksmith and get them to change the locks

I don't think I can do that @millymollymoomoo .It is his house too & he's been paying the mortgage for 7 years, I don't think that the locksmith would agree either unless I had ID proving I lived there, which I don't anymore.

You are joint owners
50% of the house is yours
yiu own half of it and are entitled to either a) live in it b) sell
it and gain 50% if equity

he doesn’t seem agreeable to b so you have little option but a

You haven't met him, or his lovely family!

I am going to speak to a solicitor when the kids return to school - but I do need the valuation or some sort of survey done first. If they come back and say 'realistically not a hope of a decent offer' then I will move to get it back, because it's an unjust situation and I 'm so bloody fed up with the stupid selfish jackass and the mess he's made.

If you can prove you own the house a locksmith should change the locks for you.
You can get a copy of the title deeds from the land registry. You need an official copy of the register to prove ownership.
www.gov.uk/get-information-about-property-and-land/search-the-register

I would not be intimidated by his family or whatever, I'd move back in. If he threatens you you can change the locks and oh isn't the police. Take back control OP.
And then get solicitors in asap. The issue isn't going to go away and you'll end up completely out of pocket eventually if you keep stalling.

Phone the police*