Did separation ever bring you back together?

[PeanutBellyJam]

I feel really strongly that I don't want to be with my husband anymore. I dont feel connected emotionally or intimately...we have 2 very young children both under 5 and I know we are on the thick of it but I'm struggling to see a future beyond our kids. We had some counselling but I didn't feel like he was really in it or understood what we were getting out of it. And maybe my expectations and what I want hasn't been clear for me or him. We knew each other for a few years before we got together but hadn't dated. I think I got sucked into the idea of our life together and then the reality 7 years later is that we are really different and we don't bring out the best in each other.

I don't know what the right thing is to do for our children, I wondered if we separated for a time or would give us space to work on ourselves and figure out if we do have a chance together. I've been contemplating getting some legal advice about separating and if I moved out and rented somewhere for 6 months...

Has anyone separated and then come back together in a better place and worked things out?

Any advice thoughts welcome. I know I've only scratched the surface but it feels good to say this out loud on some way.

Be honest with yourself. Have you checked out? It sounds it and that's a scary moment.

Counselling hasn't resolved it our brought out the issues that may be going on between the two of you appropriately.

Men rarely realise what's going know with their partner untill it goes bang as there's so many communication issues between how the sexes work.

If, as it sounds, you're done - separation is not going to change things. I would expect, not unreasonably, there's a thought about hedging bets and in all likelihood if you think there is a future then he'd happily race back.

You are probably not sure about what's going on in his mind. If he can't quite bring it out or doesn't want to, that's not for you to change.

It's a horrible decision, but if you think youve tried and youre still not seeing it, it's fairer on all parties if you think it's over to acknowledge and proceed with ending the marriage.

Thank you for replying @Flerp. I think you're right about me having already checked out. Have had a meaningful conversation with DH and we've agreed to take this week to think about how to go forward but I feel like he ultimately wants me to say I'm done or he will just continue as we are. I'm really scared but I know neither of us will have the partner they need even with more counselling. I'm sad for our children 💔