Children and housing

[Summerbubbles]

Does anyone have any experience or advice to share?
I will be seeing a solicitor tomorrow.

We have been married 10 years, bought a house together 16 years ago.
3 children aged 5, 9 and 11.

How likely will it be that I can remain in the family home with the children? I can afford to take over monthly payments on the mortgage but not if it involves me having to pay him his whole share of equity immediately.

What options have other people worked out? Thanks in advance for any help. Getting very stressed about the whole thing.

I am really sorry OP, just reading your thread from a similar position. He really does sound a millstone round your neck, as my ex is mine - he is also an addict. That's why he doesn't want the children at night, presumably. An absolute horror. But surely judges would look sympathetically at the whole picture of the marriage and see how awful your predicament is? Why should the children's home have to be sold to pay off this useless f'ers debt? 😡

He sounds absolutely awful, delusional, narcissistic... it might not feel like it now but you will eventually be better off without him, financially and emotionally.

You could get a second opinion about the likely financial settlement. It's not going to vary widely but wouldn't hurt to see what another solicitor says. Also see www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/survival-guide-sorting-out-your-finances-when-you-get-divorced

One thing to consider is the possibility of shared ownership, if there are any available properties in a suitable location for you. They would be a good option because you could use equity for the part you own and could potentially claim benefits (if eligible) towards the rent part. Despite earning you might still be eligible for this.