Separated…. Planning for divorce and finances

[Grenola]

Just in need of some advice/knowledge about divorce and house equity ect….
My and my husband separated in the new year. He moved out. I am a full time student nurse. He currently pays half the mortgage and money for child support and the amount we agreed. He is now struggling to pay his rent and this mortgage so it’s not sustainable.

I’m now worrying and planning for the future when we eventually divorce and we deal with the house.
His priority is keeping the boys settled… well so he says! U never know do U and he could change his mind doen the road and want to seek quicker.

I will qualify in two years and be able to earn again, so won’t be able to take on the mortgage solely until then.

How does it work with agreeing the equity on the house? I put the deposit down from my mum and dad and we have about 6 years of mortgage payments made since then by him as I have been raising the three kids. I haven’t worked for 7 years and his career has taken off due to me being at home all the hours needed.

I am considering suggesting to him that he stops paying the mortgage now, and he agrees to sign the house over to me in two years time when we divorce and I can have a mortgage on my own. This keeps the kids stable and safe, him not going into debt and me able to provide financially for myself and the kids. I can afford the whole mortgage currently.

What do you think?

I haven’t got legal advice or spoken to my mortgage broker or my ex yet. I’m just gathering my thoughts…..

it will come down to

hiw much equity is there
how much does he earn
can you take him off the mortgage ( will a lender allow it based on affordability criteria )

Well I am not able to take him off the mortgage now until I start working as a nurse in two years time.
he earns £42 plus bonus, has a food or ruin don’t know amount.
think the property price has increased £20k in the time we have owned it. I put deposit in of £18,500.

kids are 9,7 and 4. Youngest disabled who unable been an at home carer for for 4 years and been able to work. Hence why I’m re training now and have no income to take on mortgage.

we need to keep the house for my youngest as he can’t deal with change at all and I wouldn’t get a rental tenancy being out of work.

it’s such a horrible situation really but better than being in the relationship

Good grief OP
you make no mention of any lega advice. You must secure a solicitor, even if amicable.

If there’s little overall equity in the house and you have to house 3 children it’s quite possible that the house would be awarded to you if you can take him off the mortgage ( in couple of years)

if there’s loads ( doesn’t appear it from your messages) then it would be unreasonable to take all equity

can you pay the mortgage and bills now ?

you do need legal advice but what you propose does that face value seem unfair

I think asking him to forgo 50% of the house is a big ask.

He wouldn’t necessarily be awarded 50 % of house. Might be less in these circumstances

Hey thanks for your inputs…. We have scheduled a telephone call on Tuesday and after that I will get some legal advice.

he wants the boys to stay in the house, but I’m unsure how I can ‘buy him out’ when I do nearly all the childcare. It’s tough.

I don’t want to leave him financially unstable but equally I am responsible for the kids and he isn’t just housing himself

But he will need somewhere appropriate for them?
What are the child arrangements looking like ?
how often dies he intend to have them ??

How are you managing now for childcare when on placement? Re nightshifts and even the early starts/finishes of dayshift?

I remember my mum going through this with her husband and my much younger brother.

My mum was entitled to remain in the house until my brother hit 18 without buying her husband out. She stayed until she wanted to move in with her now partner. When the house was eventually sold (she put the deposit down from profits of her own previous home), she was awarded her initial deposit plus 50% of the remaining equity. (It doesn't matter if didn't pay for the mortgage as you were raising children so he could better his career etc, they will take this into consideration and won't penalise you for it). During the time she remained in the house he was required to pay spousal maintenance (basically contribution to the mortgage) due to her term time only earnings in order to look after brother in the holidays, on top of Child maintenance, this was done through solicitors so it would be wise, even though you don't plan to sell/take him off the mortgage yet, to get something in place legally. This was all done with solicitors and they said he should have been able to live off his remaining wages.