Divorce - SEN child

[Candyfloss9]

Ex and I spilt in 2017 when DD was 3. We sold the matrimonial home with 55% of the asset to me to buy another house. I then paid DD’s nursery fees (c£13k per year for 2 years) until she went to school. Ex pays CMS which has increased slightly over the years but it barely covers monthly breakfast/after school club fees. DD is now 8 years and has SEND (ADHD & Autism - on waiting list for diagnosis) and quite severe dyslexia. She operates at around 4 years old. Ex and I work FT earning similar wages. He lives with his second wife in her house and rents out the house he bought when we spilt in 2017. We are going to a FDR next month but he’s refused to provide a CETV value of his career average pension. It’s a significant amount - guessing around £600k against my pension of £100k. Has anyone got experience of dividing assets/spousal maintenance when a child has SEND? Her SEND needs are significant and in the past I had work PT to support her but now working FT again as couldn’t afford to stay PT. Any comments would be really helpful x

V unlikely to get spousal if you’re both working full fine and have similar earning capacities wise tally if he’s not a significant (100k plus) salary
why should you when you work ft on same salary ?

is he paying in line with cms? Have you asked him for contribution towards clubs? Has he refused? Does he realise the costs involved?

pension may be split with a % awarded to you - again dependent on length of marrusge ( you’ll only receive a share of asset accrued during that time not the whole pot) and if you’re young you have time to build yours up. Balanced Roth the higher equity .% you received

tbh it sounds like you want more as he’s remarried

Yes I have asked for an extra contribution towards her clubs/extra activities and provision to take into account our daughter’s special needs which I am struggling to pay by myself (therapies, SEND tuition, EHCP reports etc) but he said “no that’s what CMS is for”. My query related to extra provision relating to our Autistic/ ADHD daughter and whether he’s remarried is insignificant to me, I highlighted it as on the Form E his outgoings have reduced by 50% by cohabiting whereas I pay 100% of everything for our daughter (minus the CMS contribution).

So if you move someone in you’ll reduce your requirement as your costs reduce?

hid remarriage is significant in that

he can no longer claim spousal from you
he cannot claim to need fmh

but on the basis that’s already split that pretty much a non issue

aa seated, spousal is highly unlikely based on your similar earning capacities so yes you may be awarded share of pension but that would require you put into your own pension rather than have liquid asset now

yiu could in theory try to argue for higher than the 55% equity you received in your house sale to offset the higher costs but I’d be prepared for lengthy and costly battle I think as I expect he’ll argue strongly against that!

you won’t get spousal based on his new wife earnings or that his costs reduced- it would be based on

length of your marriage
your earnings ( and potential earning capacity)
his earnings
ability to house yourself ( which I presume you are already housed now so this is less of argument)

whats his income?

If you both have equivalent salaries then spousal is unlikely. It would also impact on any UC you claim.

Best advice is to look into whether you would be entitled to an government support for your child’s needs.

The best option is to look at a better asset split. But you are likely to run into arguments that “your needs are met” by the split you made 5 years ago and that consequently assets accrued outside your relationship should not be considered.

Again be thoughtful about what impact that a capital payout now would have on your UC or other benefits. Don’t disregard a future pension share. Look into what government and education support you can get for all the things listed.