Mediation

[Bonkerz]

Divorce been going on since Oct 21. Separated Nov 2018 after 16 years married.
First session on mediation is Friday after backwards and forewords with the financial split issue.

We don't have a lot. Me I'm broke with debt. He owns the house outright (3bed valued at £120k)
He has £52k pension.

My proposal was he keeps all pensions and house split 70/30 in my favour. (We have 3 children all still at home. 22 year old is disabled and so is our 16 year old and then we have an 11 year old too.
I also run a childcare buisness from the home which I have done for 18 years now.
I've secured a mortgage of £40k to buy him out.

His proposal is to wait 7 years. Sell home. Split 50/50 and he gives me a £10k pension.

My issue with his proposal is even in a few years the home won't fetch enough to buy us both a property. I will lose my job (would have to rent elsewhere and start from scratch) and I will almost 100% still have 2/3 kids at home due to the disabilities.

I've offered my maximum I can.
What will mediation want from me??

You need a good solicitor.

But If you can't agree at mediation, it will be costly to go to court.

I have a solicitor. She actually advising to go for pension too but I just want to secure the house and my job for the kids.

Half house and pension = 86k
70:30 split is fair in the circumstances given
How old is he? Will a 40k deposit not get him somewhere?
Whose idea to divorce?

Mutual split in 2018. I initiated divorce.

He's 52. Not a massive earner but could get a 1/ 2 bed easily with a tiny mortgage.

I'm 44 but I'm on carers and am self employed. Solicitor sorted a mortgage advisor who has found a provider who would lend me £40k to pay him off.

Where is he suggesting your dc with disabilities live 7 years from now?
I do not understand his mindset at all if he knows that one or both cannot live independently.

That's what makes me so cross. He thinks his responsibility to his children ends at 18. I still have a 22 year old at home and that's not going to change for a good few years yet as he's not capable of living alone.
The 16 year old is looking at 2 years college then 3 years apprenticeship where she will be home. And because she needs extra help too there is no guarantee she will be able to leave home either.

His wonderful plan that we sell the house and both buy a one bed each is just farcical and doesn't take into account the kids will still need a home

I’d be arguing to basically keep the 120k and house with perhaps shall amount to provide him deposit - more like 20k not 40k

you get 100k and keep house
he keekspension plus 20k

thats fair
stick to that

So went for the first solo session today.

Asked a few questions. Explained how I've offered the maximum amount I can and showed proof I have nothing else to compromise with so unless he is prepared to try and meet me it seems silly.

Mediation is now a no go.
Mediation lady has sent email stating that a compromise is not possible due to limited resources lmfao