Finances

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Hi
If I was to ask my husband to leave how does it work with money?
he is the main earner, I work but my income wouldn’t even cover the mortgage. We have enough to be comfortable but don’t have anything spare each month.
if I ask him to leave he would need to live somewhere (and so pay for that) so I can’t expect him to use his whole wage to pay for me and our 3 children to stay in the house.
would I be entitled to benefits to top up my wages to pay the mortgage bills etc and he pay some sort of maintenance aswell? How does it work?
Our children are all aged under 6
Thanks

If you are seriously contemplating divorce I would see a family solicitor so that you can get more precise advice on your situation. There is no one single answer as it depends a great deal on the circumstances.

Having said that it's possible to give you a broad idea as your OP suggests that your expectations might need to adjust. In general most divorcing couples with young children will both be involved in caring for the children (even if that's not 50/50) and will both be expected to provide for their own future income. Few can afford to keep the current family home and also fund a new home for the other partner. It sounds as if that's also the case for you. The most likely scenario is that the family home will be sold and you will both take some of the equity. The goal will be for you both to be able to buy/rent somewhere that allows the children to spend overnights with each of you. Any other marital assets e.g. savings, pensions, investements should also be split and you may well get more than 50% of the total of these plus equity. If the children are with you for most of the time then you should get some child maintenance from him (calculate here www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance ). Unless there's something unusual about the situation it's unlikely that you'd get spousal maintenance, at least for anyting more than a limited time whilst you adjusted to the situation. You would, of course, be able to claim the benefits if entitled to them (get an idea of what these might be here www.entitledto.co.uk )

I hope that's helpful. Broadly I would say don't rely on him continuing to fund your life, consdier what you will be able to afford as a single parent albeit with a good share of the house equity and any other assets.

Ok thank you for that Mia85, I have no idea what to do really so just considering my options, I’ll maybe speak with a solicitor for advice. Thanks again

Agree with PP

aksk remember he dies not have to move out. Legally he’s as entitled to stay in the house as you are. Many couples live together while divorcing for the reasons you outline ( not being able to afford two places)

does he know this is coming or will it be jolt out if the blue?

Jolt out of the blue, but I have not decided anything yet. I sort of want to give him an ultimatum to sort himself out (anger issues, mental health) or leave, as nothing I have tried so far as worked and I’m not sure how much longer we can live like this. But I can’t give the ultimatum without knowing how it would work if he chose leave and I need to make sure me and the children will be ok

See a solicitor

think about things in stages
ie
immeduate to 6 months post telling him - who pays what/ what child arrangements/ where will people live

short to medium term - eg 6-24 months
can you up your hours? Will house be sold? How will things settle

longer term - 2 yrs +
you should be financially independent by then ( apart from child maintenance)
what do you Ed to make this happen?
can you work full time by then
where will you live by then

etc
etc

the goal will be keeping the children housed while working towards cutting financial ties between you