Very long story short;
I reside in the UK, home country of all of us (children and parents) and EXH lives in another country. We left with his 'acquiescence' but not legal permission (he's too canny for that..!). It has now been a year so our residence here is pretty firm standing now.
EXH doesn't tell us when he is coming over and then demands to see the children when he wants. We have acquiesced as he has not seen them in between these visits and I try to keep the relationship going as much as possible. (I send photos and videos/ get them to video call once a week min/ communicate updates with all of his family as well).
He is an extreme bully, that's why we left. He exerts coercive control, also why we left. He continues to do so.
The country where we divorced does not recognise this although evidence was cited at time of divorce.
Anyway, he sets a little 'I'm an arsehole' alarm and ALWAYS messages on the morning of their first day of holiday to crap it all up.
This time he messaged and said he doesn't approve of my plans for the holiday (foreign divorce he has veto on plans if he doesn't approve- as we are nearly always seeing friends who used to be mutuals but can't stand him he has little tantrums and blocks our plans...)
So- he is saying he will land in the uk next weekend and have all 3 DCs for 4 weeks till 31.8.
He is saying he will take legal action if they are not all delivered to him then. He puts this because all 3 have form in refusing to go (they all hate it- he schedules 'enriching' activities- usually where he self-teaches them- which they loathe and plans it around his social calendar/ desire to shop in the UK. Never relates to their interests.)
The stay will be away from their home town and means they will miss a European holiday to see friends with me, plus 2 trips in the UK to see friends and family. Incl his family who he won't see.
Anyway, part of me wants to go 'woohoo a month without the kids let's book a spa and actually get some work done'
But they.won't.go.
(He also has form for dropping them back when they misbehave/ won't do the activities he's planned- so if I plan anything it could be scuppered anyway.)
Do I
A) acquiesce (word of the day) but make it clear they stay the whole time without dropping back
B) Say that they need to come on the (uncancellable) EU holiday?
C) Seek UK legal advice for how he communicates with all of us ('your opinions are pathetic and I don't care about them, you just need to get them to me or face legal action' etc etc etc) and not allow the visitation?
I have 'sole care and control'- not sure on terms of ref used over here.