More than a decade together and it's over like that..

[PurpleSkittles]

Subject says it all. One night of his ridiculous behaviour and too much alcohol has resulted in a split that I can't begin to fathom. 2 child together. Spent all my adult life with him he's all I know.

It's been two weeks and I'm feeling weak so needed to get out my feelings. If I wasn't for my daughter witnessing this all I probably would have him back but I know I can't have her see this behaviour and think it's acceptable for a man to treat a woman this way. I can't even describe how horrific it was.

I'm really struggling in all honesty. I have a family member severely ill in a mental health hospital and my father was recently discharged from general hospital after an emergency operation. I don't want to put on to family even more as we are going through so much stress and worry as it is. Work colleagues keep telling me I need to take time off but work is literally the only thing that's normal in my life atm.

How do I get through this? We were together all of our adult lives I just never imagined it would end this way. My heart feels like it's shattered.

Also to add.. I received a voice note that was clearly not meant for me saying how he wants to run away with her and finally be happy etc obviously sent it to me by mistake in his drunken stupor. When I asked him about it he exploded firstly tried to say it was him and his mates joking in the pub then started accusing me of sleeping with someone from my teens. It escalated from there.

I'm sorry to hear you are going through such an awful time. It sounds like you are doing the right thing, I know you don't want to put pressure on your family, but if they offer support, take up the offer.

Perhaps post this under Relationships. There seems to be a lot more traffic on those threads!

Well done on being strong, keep going. x

Thanks I will x

It’s awful but think of if it were 20 years down the line
you still have the energy to get this going it’s hard yes but you’ll be fine trust me on this.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I went through something similar a couple of years ago so have some idea of the pain and heartbreak you are feeling. You are definitely doing the right thing for your daughter and you will come through this.

After lots of therapy I realised that even though I thought it was one incident like this which triggered it for me, there were hints for years before including that his character was deficient so this was likely to happen at some point - and better now than even later down the line. I remember also powering through at work and appreciating the distraction but then I had another blow in the marriage a month or so later and then I did take a week off work and cried and grieved. Perhaps it doesn’t have to be now, but some time to do nothing and sit with the emotions at some point may help. I would also highly recommend therapy if that is possible as there will be all kinds of emotions swirling around and it will help with processing these and building yourself back up. You definitely deserve better and you will feel better eventually even if it takes time.