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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Clueless about divorce

28 replies

disconnected1 · 20/07/2022 23:16

Could anybody advise on a step by step process of getting a divorce. Can I do it online and just get a solicitor for the financial aspect??

I have been married for 14 years, we have one dd aged 10. The thing is everything is in his name. He owned the house before we got together., but has since paid off the mortgage (with a lump sum from savings in his name). Would I be entitled to 50/50??

He had been financially and verbally abusive for most of the marriage and is a very abusive alcoholic. Unfortunately I have never got the police involved so wouldn't be entitled to legal aid 😕

OP posts:

Happy1966 · 31/10/2023 13:12

I know this was posted a long time ago @Satellitelondon but you’re the only woman I’ve found in a very similar position to me. Im approaching 60 - husband 10 years youngermuch higher earner and I also have health issues. I would be very interested in hearing how you got on with your financial orders and if there’s any advice you would give me ? Thanks xx

FSTraining · 31/10/2023 19:56

Satellitelondon · 30/07/2022 10:24

I agree with what others are saying, definitely have a look around to get advice from a solicitor, there are lots who will give an hours free advice, or a fixed fee appointment. The starting point is always 50:50 for division of assets, but the court will look at your needs and the needs of your children to make sure it’s fair. Even if you haven’t actually gone ‘out’ to work, you have done everything for your home and children, that is a huge job in itself and the courts will recognise this. I gave up a well paid job and took a local part time position in education so I could always do the school runs and be there with the children during the holidays. My stbxh was always undermining me saying, why don’t you get a ‘proper’ job!!!

I lived with an emotional abuser for over 25 years - people ask why did you put up with it, I have no answer, but unless you’re in that situation you can’t ever understand.

I actually wish I’d got out sooner, but I waited until my children were finished Uni and only now we are in the throes of a divorce. I am now 60, he is 4 years younger, I have a chronic illness which prevents me from working more than 30 hours a week as I suffer from extreme fatigue which comes from the illness itself and the heavy medication. My stbxh is a high earner (6 figures) and he has also bought a new property, I am in a part time low earning job paying all my own bills. I am looking for over 50% of assets to enable me to buy a property outright as I won’t get a mortgage at my age plus my health condition, he wants to give me less than 50% of our house and no more 🤷‍♀️ I have a budget for my legal fees and can’t afford to go over that, so should I have to go to a financial hearing or final hearing I will have to represent myself, not tempting, but I know I can do it.

Please have a look on line and get some financial advice before you actually instruct a solicitor, get yourself as much knowledge as you can so when you bring proceedings you know exactly how the process works. I’ve got a large file already and I write absolutely everything down so I’m not blindsided.

I hope everything goes well for you.

I think given your ages and the fact you can earn some money, albeit not much, I wouldn't expect the asset split to stray far from 50/50 just to warn you. They'll look at both your needs (a one bed flat each, an equal share of the pensions measured by income projection rather than value) and once they've done that, if there is anything left they'll balance things to 50/50.

Your husband could easily make a case that he plans to retire at 60 and the courts are unlikely to find that unreasonable.

Anita848 · 01/11/2023 13:58

Although this is an older post, I thought I might leave this comment here in case it helps anyone out. Too many people are in your situation and having the pay so much to solicitors just to be able to divorce is wrong. I used this step by step guide for my divorce because I had no clue what was going on and I really needed the help, I just couldn't afford it like most. Anyway I hope this can help you and anyone else who sees this xxx
https://iamlip.com/
https://iamlip.com/home/

I AM L.I.P - Free Divorce Guide and Forum for Litigants in Person

I AM L.I.P is the UK's leading platform offering a free A to Z dissection to divorce, a forum to share experiences, and L.I.P Wellbeing. Get free help guides for divorce, child custody, finances, and more.

https://iamlip.com

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