Has anyone actually got to a Final Hearing?

[HackedOffAndFrustrated]

Has anybody actually got as far as a final hearing where the judge decides what happens because you can't agree?

We've reached a financial agreement between ourselves twice in the last 3 weeks. Then each time stbx has changed his mind a few days later and reduced the offer.

We have a FDR hearing date for October. We are supposed to get a pensions report before then and we haven't done it because we had agreed finances and weren't going to have the FDR. So now, if we have the FDR, the pensions report won't be ready in time. My solicitor says the judge will be annoyed that we haven't got the pension report and we will have to adjourn.

Our kids are all 20+. He moved out 2 months ago and rented a very expensive house in London. So now he's saying he can't afford to maintain the family home as well. Strangely, all 3 kids moved back home when he moved out. So I'm here now with the kids. One is working, one has just graduated and one about to start uni.

We had agreed 50/50 house split. 50/50 pensions split. £50k maintenance. I gave up a good job to bring the kids up and have low income self employed now. He earns £100k+

If we end up at FDR my solicitor said my current bill of £12k will be about £30k. His current bill is about £4k because he's pretty much ignored everything so my solicitor has done all the work.

I just wondered if anyone has a similar experience. If we go to FDR I intend to go for 50/50 house and pensions plus £90k maintenance plus him to pay some of my fees.

I don't know how realistic that is.
If you got this far thank you for reading 🥰

My now OH got to the final hearing (despite many generous offers to his EW which she refused to even discuss so it went to the final hearing.

The judge decided what she got & she ended up with circa 50% of what she had asked for & much less than his lowest offer.

I don’t think anyone on MN can advise what you would be awarded. But from my now OH’s experience…..

If the children are 20+ they are classed as adults / non dependents. You would be expected to maximise your income.

If you are living in the family home you will be expected to pay the mortgage and maintain it.

Are there assets that can be liquidated to give you an additional £90k ‘maintenance’? Is this spousal maintenance you are asking for in a lump sum? SM is very rare (despite what you may read on MN).

If the children are 20+ there’s no reason why you can’t work FT to maximise your income.

I doubt you would be awarded costs and he pays your legal fees.

Yeah me.

I represented myself and went straight for a final hearing because I knew my ex wouldn't agree to anything I suggested and that he would just make me spend £20k on legal fees and 3 years out of my life ping ponging offers back and forward that he never had any intention of agreeing to anyway.

Judge made the decision in the end. It was (almost down to the last £1) exactly 50/50 - I did have 3 dependant children living with me at the time but was happy with the result. My ex kept trying to offer me 20%.

Thank you.
Was there any maintenance or just 50/50?

No maintenance awarded in my OH’s case (EW wanted £10k a year for 8 years).

She was 39 at the time, hadn’t worked for 10 years & refused to get a job. Kids were 10 & 14 at the time.

She wanted:
• He pay the mortgage in full while she lived there & all upkeep & maintenance of the property
• A Mesher order for 8 years
• 80% of the equity of the FMH on sale
• 50% of all his pensions (he would get none of hers)
• £10k spousal maintenance a year for 8 years
• A lump sum of £3k
• Child maintenance of £10k a year (CMS had advised he should be paying £7k a year)

She was awarded:
• As she lived in the house, she was responsible for the mortgage & all upkeep
• Mesher order for 4 years
• She got 62.5% of the equity of the FMH on sale
• 50% of only 1 pensions
• No maintenance or lump sum was awarded
• He agreed to Child maintenance of £10k with the agreement that she didn’t ask for any more money

I've included 8 years of maintenance in the 50/50 if that makes sense

I went to Final Hearing. But exH could see the writing on the wall once we were there (and he finally actually listened to his legal team 🙄) so he settled (I got more than I ever thought I would!) while we were there, so the judge didn't decide. You and your legal team will be in a room, he and his in another, and you sort of thrash it out, with the barristers liaising. Mine was laughing at the toddler tantrums my exH was throwing.