Sorry in advance this is my first time posting just need some wise words to move forward if anyone's been in the same situation! Me and my now (ex partner) have been together 7 years, (he's been my first love for 14 years when we first met) iv stuck by him through absolutely everything gave up my life to look after his disabled sibling for the past 5 years so he can continue with his life because both his parents died, I'm the stepmother to his 9 year old son so much has happened and iv been there. A few months before our ds1 second birthday he started taking cocaine going out every weekend not coming home and it came to light he was 3 months into an affair I left straight away but he never told me the whole truth he was absoutly vile it was like I didn't evan know who he was. A few months later on our sons birthday he said he'd get clean begged for me back stupidly I caved because I love him so much and belived he'd never do it again I really thought he'd realise the pain he put me through and wanted to be a family again. I am now 5 months pregnant and he's done the same thing again not evan a year later and I'm staying back at my mums house when he hasn't got a care in the world running around driving past me with this ow. Does it get any easier? Will I ever be able to trust again? I feel like evan though we have a beautiful son and another on the way iv wasted so many years of my life on someone who is a total stranger to me. I don't evan recognise him when I look at him