Sharing/custody/co-parenting the kids

[AnonSS]

Mums (or dads) who have made the brave decision to separate / divorce...how do you get your head around sharing / co-parenting the children?

I no my son is scared of his father (he shouts / tells my son off a lot).
My son is only 3, and I'm staying in this relationship that I no longer want to be in as I can't bare to share custody of the kids knowing that they would hate to be with their father whilst I am not there. (I do not believe that the father would cope with x2 kids either and would more than likely just invest in his mother to look after them whilst he has them).

I'm not saying I don't want them to have a relationship with their father. He is their dad, I totally appreciate they should all have some form of relationship.
But knowing that my son's won't be happy is making me stay in the marriage than leave.

Also, how do you decide how long each parent has the children?

Thank you all.

You decide by doing what is best for the children. Maybe even start with one night at a time and build up. By the sounds of it though he possibly won't bother to see them unless he doesn't want to pay maintenance. What is his mum like because maybe they will love spending time with her

Thank you for the msg. I guess that makes sense, do what's best for the kids and build from there. I just have to hope that he agrees to this.
On the contrary to what you have said though, he will bother, they are his kids, and he will fight to ensure what's his, is his and he gets access (whether he interacts, the kids want to or not, they're happy or not)...as they are his, he will fight me all the way.
Sadly, his mother is super manipulative, has total control over her son and he will do everything and anything she says.
She has in the past told me that she wants to raise my children and so i am so worried about what influence she will have.
it's not an ideal situation, hence i am so worried about going down this route as i'm exposing my children to a life they may not be happy.