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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Controlling Husband has Home Rights Notice

21 replies

3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 07:35

I'm divorcing my controlling narcissistic husband using the new No Fault Divorce Process. He has a Home Rights Notice which I understand expires when the Divorce completes in November. However he is making little or no effort to find another place to live; he is only applying for social housing which he has smugly told me may take up to 2 years. He claims PIP but is carrying on doing the usual heavy duty DIY currently building a shed base for a friend (this is another issue!!). Can I make him (via solicitor) prove he's making an effort to find himself somewhere else to live and will be gone in November? He has a previous caution for assault on another woman; having realised where this relationship was going, I started the divorce and need him gone..mental health suffering. Does anyone know the answer or can he just renew the HRN, playing the disability card?

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 11/07/2022 07:47

He's as much right to live I the house as you do.

onlywhenidream · 11/07/2022 07:48

Why don't you move ?

TiddleyWink · 11/07/2022 07:51

Can you get video evidence of him doing heavy duty DIY and report him for fraud?

LemonTT · 11/07/2022 08:43

TiddleyWink · 11/07/2022 07:51

Can you get video evidence of him doing heavy duty DIY and report him for fraud?

I would not recommend this type of escalation with someone who is described as narcissistic. They will become enraged and try to get back at the OP. Since she describes him as violent in the past this is not a good idea.

OP, you need to ensure that your divorce is watertight on the issue of him leaving the home when the settlement is completed and implemented. Don’t have any open ended or ambiguous language about best efforts or anything else.

If that has already happened then you should ask your solicitor to act. Unfortunately you cannot reason or negotiate with a narc. If you MH is suffering then you need to consider whether living together is worth it.

Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 11:18

Agree - until the HRN expires..its 100% my house too

OP posts:
Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 11:19

Don't want to move..its 100% mine..dream home, why should I? I know its different if there's joint ownership, but there isn't..

OP posts:
Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 11:26

Thank you..I agree with this entirely, and yes I do have evidence..the only thing which doesn't apply is that I absolutely don't want to live with him!! I want to make sure he goes when the HRN expires and whether the past abuse in a previous relationship (and evidence of Controlling behaviour towards me) will prevent him extending the HRN. He's here, currently on good behaviour, but I'm still to an extent restricted because I am afraid of a bad reaction. Makes me so angry that an abuser can come in, take from you, and when you end the relationship for your own sanity and safety, they can come after you for money or property..

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 11/07/2022 11:29

It’s not 100% yours though
you are married therefore it’s a joint marital asset

stayingpositiveifpossible · 11/07/2022 11:52

Your solicitor needs to apply to get the Home Rights Notice taken off - I'm not aware it goes off automatically.

Unfortunately you have both got a way to go before this matter is settled.

If you are unable to agree how finances will be split - if it comes to a finance hearing - then assets will be split also - and the usual arrangement is 50-50.

In these hearings it is irrelevant how he has behaved towards another partner.

Sounds like he knows you can't force him out - I would speak to Rights of Women or the Surviving Economic Abuse helpline. Or both.

memyselfi · 11/07/2022 12:36

What do you mean it's 100% yours ?

SeccyBecky · 11/07/2022 12:48

Yes, sorry OP but what do you mean the house is “100%” yours? Did you buy it before the marriage? Even if you did then I’m afraid he will still be entitled to a %age of the capital growth in the property, and if it was bought after you married, maybe a whole lot more. Sorry but just not enough info to go on really, but I do also agree with an earlier poster, don’t report him you need to keep everything on as calm a footing as possible and that will only aggravate things majorly

Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 13:34

Thank you - good advice at the end of your note.

OP posts:
Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 13:36

Yes, 7 years before, deeds mine, mortgage mine, 100% paid for by me..it's a PRE Marital asset..

OP posts:
TiddleyWink · 11/07/2022 13:54

3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 13:36

Yes, 7 years before, deeds mine, mortgage mine, 100% paid for by me..it's a PRE Marital asset..

Is that a legal term/status though or just your opinion? I would have thought that after anything but a very short marriage, he has a claim. I may be wrong but I don’t think you can ever fully ring fence assets from a legal spouse? That’s why the arguments for and against marriage are so fraught. You can’t pick and choose which bits of the legal contract you engage with.

memyselfi · 11/07/2022 14:01

Is it a prenup situation?
I'm just not sure it's as cut and dried as you think . You've had legal advice I assume re splitting of assets.

Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 14:21

It's a legal status. I don't know what the courts consider short marriage..9 months before abuse started, then another 9, so 18 months all together. Currently getting advice - I agree it's not cut and dried...something of a free for all for abusers on the face of it.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 11/07/2022 14:45

3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 14:21

It's a legal status. I don't know what the courts consider short marriage..9 months before abuse started, then another 9, so 18 months all together. Currently getting advice - I agree it's not cut and dried...something of a free for all for abusers on the face of it.

It's a short marriage, I think it's very unlikely he'll have a claim on your pre marital assets. Indeed I helped a friend with her case and the small rental property she'd bought 7 or so years prior to the marriage was ring fenced in court as a pre marital asset and the ex-husband got nothing from it. That was considered a short marriage at 8 years.

SeccyBecky · 11/07/2022 15:21

OK OP, this is from google lawyer but I think you really need a proper solicitor on this rather than our opinions.

“If a house owned by one person prior to the marriage is lived in as your marital home, this will usually be treated as a matrimonial asset, although that does not necessarily mean it would be divided equally. If a house owned prior to the marriage by one person is not the marital home, it may be considered non-matrimonial property and treated different. However non-matrimonial assets e.g. assets owned before the marriage (such as a house) can be considered by the court if there is simply not enough money for you to rehouse otherwise.”

Talk to a lawyer they cost a lot but can save you more.

TheFormidableMrsC · 11/07/2022 16:00

SeccyBecky · 11/07/2022 15:21

OK OP, this is from google lawyer but I think you really need a proper solicitor on this rather than our opinions.

“If a house owned by one person prior to the marriage is lived in as your marital home, this will usually be treated as a matrimonial asset, although that does not necessarily mean it would be divided equally. If a house owned prior to the marriage by one person is not the marital home, it may be considered non-matrimonial property and treated different. However non-matrimonial assets e.g. assets owned before the marriage (such as a house) can be considered by the court if there is simply not enough money for you to rehouse otherwise.”

Talk to a lawyer they cost a lot but can save you more.

In an 18 month marriage, it's really unlikely he'll get anything.

Original poster
3Ducks3 · 11/07/2022 16:24

Thank you TheFormidableMrsC - I hope you are right!

OP posts:
LemonTT · 11/07/2022 20:14

Did you live together before marriage. If so that period would be counted toward the length of the marriage.

It is very important you get legal advice. The act of divorce won’t end his claim. Even if it is a short marriage it is still a marital asset. Because you have been married you need a court order to agree a financial settlement. Without it he will always have a claim.

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