The family home - Keep or Sell

[LDA123]

Brief history, separating after 13 years marriage, 4 children age 4-11. He works FT, I work PT. Not enough equity in the house for us to both to buy a property if it was sold.

I can just about manage the mortgage, all the runnings costs, kids expenses etc based on my earnings, child maintenance and universal credit.

I don’t earn enough to afford a mortgage in my name (maximum I can get is less than half of our current mortgage). I gave up my full-time job to look after the children and have worked part-time for 4 years.

If we sold the current house, we would be able to buy a smaller house (it would have to be a joint mortgage with him owning % of equity) but due to debts and house price increases, the mortgage would be for exactly the same (for a much smaller house but we would be debt free).

What do we do! He is renting a 2 bedroom flat on a 1 year lease.

Obviously it’s not really fair if he has to continue to rent forever.

I just don’t know what the solution is. What do people do in this sort of situation?

I would suggest agreeing you can keep the family home until your youngest is 7 by which time you can have been full time for a couple of years

Could you go full time when all the children are at school? Not easy I know but you'd be able to borrow more alone.
Or, could you sell and buy a smaller place for you and the kids, maybe with a small mortgage, this might allow for him to have enough for a deposit on a flat for him, so he's got a place with a mortgage and is back on the property ladder. Probably cheaper than paying rent.
That way you both have some equity, both have a mortgage (of different amounts) and both have adequate homes, which is roughly fair...

Do you think that it what the courts would order me to do? Start working full time? I’ve always been skeptical, with the cost of childcare alone for 4 children.

If we sold the family home, there would not be enough equity for us to each buy a smaller place. Maybe a 1 bedroom flat but I don’t see how that could work with 4 children.

Even if I worked full time, I couldn’t earn enough to get a mortgage on my own - currently over £400,000. That sort of earning power is just not achievable after many years out of the workplace.

i would sell, and position myself financially to be as self sufficient as possible long term.
long term as is when the children leave home. i'd be ensuring good insulation good roof and minimal maintenence.
so yes i would sell and buy very carefully, even if it's smaller.

Courts are likely to expect you to look to maximise your income to support yourself so working full time perhaps

but housing if children will take priority
what are the relative incomes of you and ex? Where are you proposing he lives? What are children arrangements?

Yes. they will expect you to work FT like DH, and pay pension.

Can you make him an offer to buy him out of his share of the property?

He is renting a 2 bedroom flat. He has them for approx 8 hours every Sunday. I have no money to buy him out.

He earns £120k+ with a good pension and I earn £30k with no pension as self employed (no holidays, sickness etc either).

If we sold, we would have to use 100% of the equity to buy a smaller property (e.g. 4 bedrooms perhaps) and the mortgage would have to be in joint names as I don’t earn enough. The sale proceeds less paying off debt, deposit on new house, stamp duty plus all the moving costs would mean they’d be zero left. So ex wouldn’t get a penny or have a house…. But he would have a % of the new family home. The mortgage payment would be exactly the same.

If you're reasonably amicable then you could consider leveraging your existing joint equity in your family home to jointly buy a new home for him. You might need to have side agreements in place for individually renting each house and to cover what happens after there is sufficient equity built up in both houses to allow you both to sell up and away from each other.

This does tangle you up with him long term and will likely be a pain and problem for future partners though.

Have you spoken to a solicitor?

The courts' priority will be housing the children but yes, you will be expected to work f/t if not now then eventually. That's also important for you as you need to start thinking about yourself as a financially distinct entity - so pension, etc.

That all said, on that salary I'd expect him to have a decent pension pot which any decent solicitor will advise him to protect - there is bargaining power there wrt to equity in the house (you keep your pension pot, I get the same level of equity in the house).

You can agree to keep the status quo in terms of housing for a number of years in order to get you up to the right level of being able to pay a mortgage on your own. But you really need good advice at this point.

If you can cover the costs of this, could ex afford a mortgage on a 2 bed place in addition? He's on quite a wage.

on that salary it’s perfectly plausible that a mesher could be awarded with your ex remaining on the mortgage for a period of time

it’s also possible that a spousal maintenance order could be made

uou would be expected to improve your own financial circumstances too

you need legal advice

The thing that jumps out at me is that you have debt - presumably that was built up despite combined earning of 150k.

If that is the case then you should be realistic about whether you can afford to keep your current house anyway.

Always address debt first and purchases later.