I separated from my partner of 10 years just over 18 months ago. The separation was relatively amicable, despite an extended, drawn out period while we sold our house and divided up our assets.
Until recently, I'd thought I was in a good place following the split. Sadly, infidelity played a part in the breakdown of our relationship, but I had a period of counselling post-break up and have good support from my family and thought I'd moved on.
I've recently started dating again and met a genuinely lovely man a couple of months ago, which should be a source of huge happiness. He's in a similar situation to me having divorced a short while ago, we're well suited in terms of personality and interests, and I really enjoy his company.
However, the new relationship has triggered massive hidden insecurities which I'm struggling to cope with and my confidence and self-esteem is at rock bottom.
I feel like I'm not good enough for the new man and don't understand what he sees in me. I'm overthinking everything - every time he's on his phone, I'm thinking he must've found someone better than me. If his contact patterns change, I'm convinced he must've gone off me. It's stopping me sleeping properly, I've lost my appetite, and I just feel constantly tense and anxious.
I've tried to be open about my feelings in as non-needy a way as possible (though I have got emotional in front of him a few times now) and he's been nothing but kind, patient and understanding. But I'm terrified that I'm self-sabotaging an opportunity for genuine happiness with a great guy.
I've never had this before - is this normal after a separation? And if so, how have other people dealt with this? I'm considering more counselling, but wondering if anybody has any other advice?
(Sorry for the long post).