Made the jump! Selling fmh!

[Happyhappy61]

I’ve made the jump! I emailed my solicitor this morning instructing him to set the ball rolling for selling the family home. We divorced two years ago but I stayed in the home to get back on my feet. I’m looking at some rental houses and some small flats that I can buy over the next few weeks. Me and my little boy are starting our lives on our own two feet and I can’t wait. Would love to hear any stories if any lovely ladies are in a similar situation 💐

I did this 4 years ago. Sold the house early, before my little girl was 18, it was the best thing we did. I rent now but it doesn’t matter I’m not living in exh house paying his mortgage. I used the money well and set our life up and went on a well deserved holiday as a extra treat. You won’t look back it was a heavy weight lifted!

People keep telling me I made the wrong decision to sell our fmh but like you I cannot wait to be free of the tie to him. Just awaiting a completion date and for my new home to be ready then I can relax, be debt free and hopefully happier.

You’ve done the right thing absolutely.
A fresh beginning removing that shackle of your neck.
ive had to stay in ours it’s mine now the only reason I’m staying is due to my daughters needs .Everything we need is here all our support from the authorities is here .we are well known to them I don’t think we’d be this supported in another borough.
once she out of school hopefully 25 .
ill be selling .
im gradually ripping the house apart new everything .
feel like getting a priest in as well.

@Palaver1 sorry for the hijack, but just wondered how difficult it was to get an older child’s needs recognised? Did you have to go to court or was your EX amicable? I’m in a situation with 19yo with quite complex MH issues, can’t live independently but STBXH’s solicitor trying to disregard her in both equity split and whether we should be able to stay in FMH Shortage of suitable houses locally, and have great GP and local support network. She’s no longer in education which doesn’t help.

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@Scareystress
My ex was not amicable it’s been a horror movie.
my daughter is known to health CAHMS consultants abroad etc.
from the get go I got a very good firm to deal with the legal side.
my aim was to make sure I don’t share to very good pensions,remain in house and have her needs taken into consideration.
This did not come cheap but it’s been worth it we had other property he owned a flat we both owned a rental property .
This was one of the reasons It swayed in my favour what the judge said remember this was during the pandemic was her needs had to be taken into consideration.
the projection of her needing support was for all her life and the fact that I managed to hold on to a full time job planning towards her future .
i had the use of 3 different barristers but the last one was amazing .
he did not have legal support which did not go in his favour as he was advised to he held up everything it was and as we get to the last part a struggle.
i have had to remortgage the house In order to pay him of and also pay the tax .
of note the judge saw my case through and insisted he would continue till the end we went to court 4 times.
with the same judge not the same barristers .
of note the wanker did not do badly but my pensions were not touched.
am I pleased with the end yes is he no.
the care ie how we sort that out weekends ,holidays.
was also mentioned in the order ie for us to continue to with the prior arrangement till we get it resolved at the family court.
its been a struggle in a nutshell your child’s needs can not be ignored.This should reflect in any judgment decided.
it helps when you have a Nasty person your going to get rid as the judge will see this and act on it,
I hope I’ve answered your question..

@Palaver1 thanks for sharing, that sounds horrendous. Well done for getting justice for your daughter.
I think we’re in for a long battle that I probably can’t afford. Don’t have any other property, so if all our capital gets sucked up in legal fees, he won’t be able to be housed (without selling fmh) . So any offer we put in now, even if seen fair by a judge later, won’t be possible if we get to final hearing.
I’m also working full time but very flexible and mainly from home. As the higher earner, with STBX having health issues and only just about holding down a p/t min wage job he’s pulled the vulnerable card.

@Scareystress
you will not have much left lawyers are in it to do a job and before you know it
you could spend close to 80 thousand ,
you have to find away to let him know that every penny would be spent on legal fees .the judge kept on reminding the wanker that although you refuse to engage legal representation there will be a time when he would share the cost between us.
it adds up please find away to resolve this .lawyers are in it to do a job and earn a living .
well done on having a full time job it’s not easy.
youll be glad you have it later on it will help towards mortage etc you might need.

@Palaver1 he knows that re the legal fees - but expecting we could spend £80k each if it gets to final hearing. He doesn’t care, as if that happened, we would be forced to sell the FMH, he would still need to be housed, and there would be just about enough for a flat each in this area. He thinks that if we need a house, it’s perfectly reasonable for us to move to a cheaper or grotty area, away from support network.
He has a very aggressive solicitor who seems to be advising him to take the stance of disregarding an ‘adult child’, ignoring her mental health as it’s expensive to fight. I’m guessing if it did make any difference percentage split wise, it would be less than costs.

I wish you had the use of the barrister I used I believe that when it comes to dealing with these cases regarding our children you need specialist in this field.
truly speak to someone who gets on with him.
you could easily lose a lot more than this .
the lawyer being aggressive is one of the most stupid things all it does is waste time and cost more your daughters needs can not be disregarded infact i had my pensions protected due to her needs,
two good ones,very good ones.

@Palaver1 Are you able to PM me that barrister details please?