Pending separation - husband says we have to sell

[Scruffybear]

Hi all
I’m embarrassingly completely lacking in financial and divorce related savvy and need help. Allegation was made against my husband by one of our children and ss became involved. Children are adopted and recognised as having severe trauma and SEN. Husband is using situation to walk away having wanted to I think for many years but didn’t want to be the bad guy. Now he has an excuse. He has insisted house needs to go on the market as no other option. Keeps saying this in front of kids. I had hoped for sake of kids we would find a way to avoid this massive stress for them but I think he feels if he can’t live here no one can. Currently all living together but he is not parenting, also a cause of stress, kids are confused.
i have debt of more than £10k, I doubt there will be more than £100k equity in the house which leaves us with £50k each. I only have a small part time job so couldn’t take over the mortgage as I guess I wouldn’t be allowed even if family helped with payments. Both kids are SEN meaning lots of therapy needed during the week and constant relentless supervision. So I work at the weekend which is now impossible as I can’t leave kids with him and need others to babysit which isn’t easy for kids like mine, plus how would I pay them!? Currently forced into taking unpaid leave.
For added complexity husband has his own business which I am also a director of, so my salary (basically all spent on repaying debt and kids needs) comes from that source.
it feels like such an impossible mess, even my phone is a company phone. I have a legal line to speak to but they only EVER call me back when I have the kids as they won’t specify a time and I’ve as yet been unable to chat it all through.
can anyone help with experience of a similar situation. Husband keeps saying that involving lawyers will ‘use all our money’ and I’ve no desire to be acrimonious but I would do whatever I could to avoid uprooting the kids. So I know I need them involved but at the moment it’s taking all my time and energy to keep things stable for the children and the stress is just piling up as I know there must be loads i need to be doing. Please help if you can

Are both your names on the deeds?

If you know which Agrnt it was, phone them & tell them he's wasting their time, because you don't agree re with putting it in the market.

he's telling you not to use a solicitor because he knows he's trying to do cheat you out of what's right.

now is the time to realise he does not have you or the kids interest at heart, only his own. I KNOW that hurts to hear, but you MUST accept it.

try charities that might help with the legal. Post again in the legal topic.

HE cannot totally shaft you, don't let him bully you into an unfair settlement.

I'm so sorry about your DC, he's a complete cunt making this worse for them than it needed to be.

big hugs!!

@YukoandHiro the issue here is whether @Scruffybear 's name appears on the register. Not how it is held.
How the house is held is relevant if one of them dies.
In a divorce the assets are put in the pot and divided according to the needs of the children then the adults.
The immediate issue is ensuring the house is not sold from under her if her name isn't on the register (although there are some checks in the sale process that 'should' prevent that)

I registered my interest with land registry but haven’t received any confirmation yet (that happened a week ago). He doesn’t know that. But yes I’m assuming the valuation has to happen anyway. It’s just that he keeps telling social worker/kids/his family ‘I’m putting the house on the market’ and I want to be sure he cannot actually DO it without my agreement.

thanks so much everyone, all so helpful and I really am so grateful

@DameCelia - yes of course but given her husband clearly owns a part(or alll), the only way she WOULD appear on the register is if they were joint owners or TIC.

Is his company limited?

Selling the house only happens when you have worked out finances and it's a joint decision to sell (or a court has agreed). Do you know assets such as pensions, assets in the company, cars etc

Have you filed for divorce yet?

It doesn't matter if her name is on deeds or not - since you live there the estate agent will ask if you agree to any sale and if you don't sign he's stuffed

My dh wasn't on the sale for our house

Don't forget that it is not only assets that are shared and divided but debts too. Your 10k debt will be considered half his.

It is imperative that you get legal advice and don't listen to what his opinion is on what is 'fair'. Remember that, especially as he sounds as though he will have little to do with his children, you are fighting for their future.