I am the applicant but H wants to take it to court - who pays?

[amapama]

I applied for the divorce and things were proceeding OK (through solicitors) but at a stalemate now with regards to the financials. We were all nearly done and all forms ready but immediately after that H had a change of heart and started kicking off. He wants to take it to court now. Do I have to pay for this too? I've spent a fortune on my solicitor already for the hours racked up, I'm in tears about having to spend even more

Either you agree the split between you or the judge decides so yes, that has to be paid for.

You need to apply to court for the financial order if you haven’t already which is about £250, but I think you need to attempt mediation first. Personally you can represent yourself and the court shouldn’t allow anything that is unfair to either party so a solicitor isn’t necessary, but it depends on your case. You will pay your own solicitor bills unless one side is unreasonable so the judge may order for someone to pay the other sides legal bill.

Thank you. This is exactly what I did not want. Thank you for the reminder about representing myself. I might have to go down that route as I can't afford more £££

It's perfectly reasonable for him to change his mind if the financial were going significs tly against him, or he has recieved advice otherwise.

Divorce is a messy, horrible, unpleasant experience. Im sorry. Too many people seem to think it won't be, or base their assumptions of their partners reactions on what was then. He has to now fight for himself and his new life too, so you have to accept that.

Court is the right place for it to go if you have a legal issue and both parties can not agree. It isn't kicking off to protect his own interests and to seek a 'just' outcome.

I think you’re forced to go to mediation first now? Could be wrong…

Unless you can convince a mediation there's no reasonable prospect of success and it gets signed off

Médiation first
watch your money go ....

Oh dear. Exactly what I did not want <watches money I do not have float away>

Oh I'm happy for him to protect his own interests and get a fair deal too. But most of his involves nonsensical back and forth and I'm just seeing the £££ pile up on my bill. His latest is him trying to sue my solicitor 🤔

Now that does seem ridiculous.

Mine was expensive, but never tried that move 😅

Put a stop to it now.
tell your lawyer you will not respond to anymore of his nonsense.
my ex piggy banked onto my lawyers .
this can go into thousands mine did I know if he had his he would have been less reckless.
méditation didn’t help he didn’t turn up each time they tried to contact him it cost me.
I think it’s such a odd thing as they can’t really do jack.
only time I think it works is when both sides have agreed.or just to get the papers signed.

How could I put a stop to it though @Palaver1 😔My solicitor needs to respond to him as we try to work out an agreement. This has been going on months now, can't help wondering if all solicitors secretly love it. I've paid mine £6000 in the last year. My income is 20,000. This is crippling me. I can't believe this is allowed to happen.

I feel your pain, only started a thread earlier today regarding H causing us to rack up solicitors bills and as we are still living together and have a joint account, all legal fees/court fees/mediation fee are coming out of a joint funds.

I submitted a full and honest form E in exchange for his which is quite honestly a combination of lies, exaggeration, omissions, wishful thinking and speculation along with a massive dose of victim status claiming untruths. Barely a single totally true fact in it. He's already had an extension of time despite no longer working and having had over 6 months of free time to gather the information and complete it, compared to my full-time/full on job + teenagers + ill/aged parents to attend to.

I despair that he can hold things up like this with seemingly no repercussions.

"nonsensical back and forth" pretty much describes what I'm anticipating as the next stage.

Sending some virtual or or , whatever you feel is most appropriate !

Oh I'm happy for him to protect his own interests and get a fair deal too. But most of his involves nonsensical back and forth and I'm just seeing the £££ pile up on my bill. His latest is him trying to sue my solicitor.

I'm so sorry but that did make me laugh!

But how frustrating for you.

There is no need to respond every single time he makes a noise.
it makes no difference
he can’t ask a question then he gets a response.
let his request pile up then he gets a response,
tell your lawyer you cannot afford it.
My lawyers were good but at a particular time I’d had enough and begun to refuse to pay for bits and pieces till they got the hint .
I was livid with them at times
state your issues and tell your lawyer he has to cut back.
they listen after a while

I just know how my stbxh will react to what I ask and I’m not intending to be unreasonable, I’ve known him for 30 years, been married for 25 - I’d be stunned if he gives an inch.
It hasn’t happened yet, but if my case goes to a FDR or Final Hearing I will have to represent myself during that part, and just get my solicitor to do the necessary paperwork. Otherwise it’ll be travelling expenses to court for the solicitor & the barrister, then their fees plus VAT, I can’t afford it and am not prepared to get into that much debt, I have already been quoted up to £30,000 and that’s only up to FDR. There is lots of online information about representing yourself in court, you can also take a McKenzie Friend with you to take notes and for moral support.
I have a friend who has been divorced twice, she said mediation was a waste of money for her anyway, both her marriages ended up going to final hearing and costing her a packet £££