Feel like im going mad.

[Emmas1988]

Im not rally sure where to start. U havr been with my husband since I was 16 and im now 34 we have 2 children togther who are 15 and 11. Been married 3 years.

The last year or so it has felt like he is nice one moment and horriblr the next, for example he will text me in the day being all nice and then come home and kick off if something is not done. I work 32 hours a week so im not lazy. He fat shames me, calling me fat but then offers me chocolate and takeaways.
He expects me to do everything like cleaning cooking, and leaves his shit every where. He cant do things for himself and expects me to drive all the tine even thou he drives too and from work.
I pay most of the bills like rent, water ect and he has to do gas, food and any thing we need. But everytime he moans and often it runs out or i have to get the children to have school dinners because he wont pay the food shoppong as he has no money left.
I have had endless rows and he says he will change and he does for a bit and then goes back, this time he is still being extra nice but lying with it too about money he owes, what he has said to people.
This week i have been writing down his actions for example when he got paid on friday, he has brpught 3 takeaways, took himself and grandson to the cimema been to the car boot and still hasnt done the gas/elec or food shopping.
Also this weekend, he had his elder daughter over who is a adult with her own children, i have fallen out with her over the way she spoke to my daughter. So i went out with my friend so i didnt have to be around her and feel uncomfortable in my own home. Both my children were at friends so he didnt have to look after the children. And he kept on ringing me asking me to come home, i refused and asked why he needed me there he blanked that. This was on the saturday on the sunday he questioned me and asked me if i loved my best friend more than him and my family.
Is he beening nice because he knows im planning to leave or because ive stopped rowing with him to keep my mental heath.
I feel stupid as i havent seen this behavior and others have, have i just been blinded by love.

Am i going mad and being silly or is his behavour not normal.

Any advice would be appricated.

Wow so sorry OP. This behaviour is not normal. You aren't going mad. Have you considered leaving him?

Thank you so much for replying, Im so glad you have said that this is not normal and Im not going mad. I should have said in the post that Im planning to leave him. I just trying to get some money behind me to tide me over until everything is sorted financially. But i was second guessing myself, as he is acting all nicely. But tonight he has been on one, moaning about everything he can.

@Emmas1988 Name changed, I was FarKingHell.
Fat shaming you isn't on and expecting you to do everything isn't either. Noone deserves that. Relationships are about teamwork and respect. You seem really strong minded and it's good you've made a decision. Don't second guess yourself and trust your gut. 💐 What's he moaning about?

Thank you at @IvanaTinkle2
Definatly, i think i growm so used to it ive clearly forgot how i should be treated.
Yesterdays moans were, there were crumbs on the seat of the car and 3 pieces of rubbish, moaning that he only just cleaned it. That was 2 weeks ago, and he is not a clean person, he leaves his stuff everywhere and doesnt normally pick up or hoover its once in a blue moon. I think the only reason he does the car is because its in his name and he calls it his car even thou i drive it all the time as he has his own van.
Also moaning at my daughter for having the lights on in her room saying she should have the blinds open. But she does it more for privacy as we live in a flat and people do walk pass her room.
Moaned how long i took to get yogurts in tesco when he had walked off. In fact i couldnt reach then. Moaned about me having to pick my daughter up, he thought she was at her friends which is an 8 min drive when in fact she was at school doing her last production. He thought she had already done it as he watched one. I don tell him things the girls are doing he clearly doesnt listen or doesnt intrest him.
Sorry for the essay and thanks for listening to me.

You must have the patience of a saint. I would lose my shit and tell him to shut the F up or get out.
He sounds like a waste of space and a drain on your life.
Also I'd say to him 'Are you gonna help me clean for once or what!?' I'd give him a choice, help you or get out basically and show him you mean business.
Lazy son of a B.
Sorry you're experiencing this OP it would drive me mad as well 😩