Paying for everything

[Gradmum1]

For the last 11 years I brought up my chidren completely independently. I had not a penny of support their father. I have no wider family of my own either. I am the bank of 'mum'. I have worked full time and always provided for their needs and some of their wants too.
My last child is graduating and I have to face the graduation meal with their father, where I will have to pay half. I will pay for the graduation photo, gown etc.

I wish just sometimes someone would pay for me. I see and hear other women being treated and it never ever happens to me.

It's really tough.

It sounds like you’ve done an amazing job and should be very proud of what you and they have achieved!

why are you paying half
why had dad not paid?

I wouldn't go to that meal. I'm a divorced parent receiving almost no financial support. No way am I ever playing happy families to 'save face'. I'd pay for the full meal another night without his company.

I wouldn't go either. I too am a lone parent and I pay for everything whilst my ex husband swans about his new life in Norway, forgetting his responsibilities to his kids. It gives me the rage. Offer to take her out later and let him do lunch. And well done. Doing it all alone and educating them to a good standard is no mean feat. Good for you!!!

Congratulations for doing it alone. It’s tough but you should feel a huge sense of satisfaction that you’ve made it.

YANBU, that does sound tough. Being treated is lovely. Maybe your graduated children might pay for dinner sometime? It sounds like you’ve done a great job for them. Of course, you didn’t give to receive but maybe now that the last one is graduated then you will get treated sometimes.

Or perhaps now is a good time for dating? I come at it from this angle because when you said ‘other women get treated’ it sounded a bit like you wanted someone who looked after you (for once!).