Should I just walk away with nothing?

[Divorcedat40]

i am currently waiting for a decree nisi, my husband and his mother want me to walk away with nothing. We have been together 16 years and married for 11 years, 5 children (the youngest 3 are his) 10,12,13, my mother in law signed one of her houses over to my husband 4yrs ago as she was leaving it to him anyway when she dies, (we have lived in the house since our first child was born 13yrs ago) she always said I wasn’t allowed to have my name on anything to do with the house. he then remortgaged it for £90k to fund an extension for us, again my name isn’t on anything to do with the house, even though I have obviously contributed over the years, We both work full time, I earn £19,800 he earns £35,000. They are maintaining I should go with nothing, surely I’m entitled to something after 16yrs? I’m not asking for thousands, the house is worth £230,000, he has also just inherited £50k, all I want is enough to pay the first months rent on somewhere to get me started, is that unreasonable? I am divorcing him because he is alcohol dependent and I can no longer tolerate his disgusting behaviour. I’m new to all this and just don’t know what to do for the best.

Apply for universal credit. If you're earning that salary with five children I'm sure you'll be entitled to something.

Get a lawyer. Navigating the family court is hard enough, without good advice and I found that it made the process itself easier in terms of dealing with the court system. I started out without a lawyer and the judge told me to get one and I listened.

To keep costs down, you can represent yourself in the actual court hearing but the advice I received from the lawyers was invaluable and gave me confidence. They looked over everything and made sure the agreement was water tight.

As others have said, the court will not sign off on a bad deal. You will regret walking away with nothing and your children will suffer for it. Put your big girl pants on and fight for your future. Your husband is now fighting for his assets, he is not the man you married and will leave you high and dry.

Don't walk away! As others have said, you really really need to see a solicitor about this. When you make the appointment ask if you can pay when the case closes. You will be awarded something don't worry.

You need a solicitor. I used to practise as a family lawyer but it's 20 years ago now so things change. But you should certainly be looking at a 50 % split at least. It doesn't matter whose name is on what; they are all family assets because you're married. Do not let them fob you off.

You are entitled to your fair share. If you want to keep more of it and now understand your rights, you do not need a solicitor. As your husband has a higher salary and the £50k inheritance for a deposit, you'll most likely get the house.

I mean 50 % at the very least or even more for you depending on salary, pensions etc. Please get legal advice.

I was a family lawyer's secretary for years. Please don't walk away! I really don't understand in this day and age that people enter into marriage and raise a family still thinking what's mine is mine.
There are lots of options like division of assets (could be massively in your favour) or letting you live in the house until the kids are out of full time education etc etc. there's not a judge in the land who would award you nothing.

Get a Loan if you have to, put the money on credit, find £500 to get a lawyer, an hour of good advice, w letter to his solicitor telling them what you want and are entitled to. They may be all it takes. I'm not sure there are many lawyers who wouldn't want a couple of hundred quid on account though to be honest.

Your husband and his Mum have done a good job convincing you you are entitled to nothing.
You absolutely must get a solicitor- one who won't charge you until settlement at the end.
Why would you consider walking away with a deposit when it sounds like you are entitled legally to over 100K? Good luck OP - you can do it.

Rights of women was linked above - read the information linked and use them to find a lawyer. They don’t have to act for you for every aspect of the financial settlement but will be able to give you valuable advice.

The starting point is 50-50 for all assets, including the marital home, pensions, cars and any investments. Remember your ex is not your friend and neither is his mother
Lodge a cms claim in the meantime too and work out what benefits you are entitled to.

He should also pay maintenance for the children. You can do a check on the CMS website to see how much you are due. This will help add to your salary.

They want you to walk away with nothing because you are actually entitled to a large part of his estate, especially if you have the children. This could mean the house for starters.

Get a free 30 min appointment with a solicitor tomorrow. Do not walk away with both.

The starting point would be 50% of all the marital assets, no matter whose name they are in, or who paid for them. So that includes half the value any houses he owns, half his pension and savings. You may well be entitled to more , given your lower earnings and earning capacity and the fact that you will be housing the children. You will also be entitled to maintenance for the children.
You can't afford not to get legal advice. Use a credit card if you have to.
The advice will be more cost effective if you can arrive with the figures at your fingertips, so get a good idea of the house valuation, outstanding mortgage, pension statements bank statements and so on.

My friend has just been through this, her husband refused to give her anything as the house was in his name. She went to a solicitor and she was told as they are married with one teenage child the minimum she was entitled to was half of all marital assets. It went to court, the judge told him he'd been unreasonable and ordered him to give her £90k and £450 a month child maintenance. You need to go to a solicitor for advice, do not give in to their demands.

@Divorcedat40 - I'm concerned because you've not come back to your thread. What's going on - can you update, so we can help you further?

I was just thinking the same!

It's summer weekend, she has five children and a separation on her hands.....

I walked away with nothing, albeit for very different reasons, with 3 children and on a similar income.
It was tough but we managed .

Listen to all the PP excellent advice and
DONT YOU DARE WALK AWAY WITH NOTHING.
Sorry for the shouting, but I'm speaking as a woman who left a relationship of 20 years with nothing because we were not married. You have rights and would be an absolute fool to walk away.
Please remember that this money is not just about you, this money is to support and house your children.

Do not be a martyr, get a credit card, loan anything but get real about you and your kids deserve.

Walk away with nothing? Yes I bet that's what they want.
Don't.
You can pay the solicitor when the settlement is made, otherwise nobody would be able to hire one. Discuss payment on the first visit.
You are entitled to 50% plus maintenance for the children.
Presumably you are not taking his children as well?
Don't let them bully you into walking away - what they think is irrelevant and just because the house isn't in joint names does not mean you are not entitled to 50%.

... please list any solicitor that will give 30 minutes free legal advice...

Go on. I'll wait.

when you do get an appointment with a Solicitor then please have a file ready with copies of as many documents as possible / marriage certificate/ birth certificates bank accounts

plus make s description of your relationship so

when you met / when you started living together / properties bought
jobs you both had / dates children born / which schools they attended :health issues / financial situation
Date relationship ended

hand to the solicitor to read at the start of the meeting

it will save a lot of time! (And money)!