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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How to break up in peace

3 replies

Rochellebee · 07/06/2022 14:11

I had relationship for a year with a man that I argued with a lot. While I was usually trying to find solutions and never raised my voice (but cried few times). He was usually shouting and swearing during fights. Due to my anxiety I had to end the relationship (over text - I know I’m terrible but I was scared to do it in person). He called me and started shouting and swearing at me “do whatever you f want you disgusting woman …”and these sort of things. I need to now give him his stuff and I need mine (left tablet and few important stuff at his place). The final break up happened few days ago and everyday I wanna message him if he is ok and that we can have a final talk and exchange the things. But worried how that’s gonna go- any tips? I expected apology after the shouting but it’s been three days and no contact . I wanna ask him if he is ok (as I still care obviously), but also feel like he should be asking me after the shouting call (I was just saying that I’m sorry and I can’t do this anymore). Any thoughts? Tips how to handle it?

OP posts:
Triffid1 · 07/06/2022 14:18

No, don't ask him if he's okay. And of course he's not going to ask you if you're okay, or apologise for that matter.

A polite text saying you've got some of his stuff and would like yours back - can you pop round later to do an exchange?

And take someone with you when you do the exchange because you don't want to get into a fight and if he's this aggressive, you don't want him trying to intimidate you.

Rochellebee · 07/06/2022 14:34

We live far away from each other so I was thinking of coffee shop mid way in public

OP posts:
LemonTT · 07/06/2022 22:14

Dont suggest a coffee. Just exchange things.

You are looking for “closure”. It doesn’t exist. There is nothing more to say. You ended it, he got nasty. Nothing is owed except the items.

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