Could you go back..?

[30somethingMess]

My DC's Dad always had a short temper with me. I would wind him up though so I blamed myself. I've been called a bad mother, a c!nt, a slag.. but I know I can piss him off and I've called him names too.
When I was pregnant I was so unwell I didn't want sex, and rather than caring about me all he did was moan about the lack of sex.
I since found out while I was pregnant he was messaging another woman/women.. getting nude photos of her and graphic videos.
I was with him 10 years. He said it's cos he felt so staved of affection.
I left and I've met someone else. Lovely guy, caring, a bit soft but maybe he's just normal and I'm used to someone who argues all the time.
Ex wants me back. Part of me wants to go back, I want my family back together, I want the normal life. But I look at him and just think about what he did to me.
Could you forgive it?

Personally I wouldn't but it's much harder when it's your reality and your family. Were you happy when you were with him? The reality is he won't change long term, so if you were happy in your relationship with him then consider it, if you weren't happy then don't give it another thought.

I genuinely think you sound like you deserve a lot more (go for the nice guy!)

No!
Come on...... give your head a wobble

He doesn't sound like a catch with the name-calling and trying to put you down.

I also think cheating on someone whilst they are pregnant is especially shitty. And I do consider texting & swapping nudes with other women cheating. I could never forgive that personally.

I am not sure what is alluring you to go back ?

Being with your child's father & having a traditional family unit is not everything.

I highly doubt he has changed , most people don't , and I think you should respect yourself more than to settle for such low standards of treatment.

I think you will come to regret it if you do leave your current partner for your ex. But i guess if you don't try , you will never know.

Could you forgive it?

No.

Has he begged forgiveness, actually changed, done a proper self-inventory and looked at why, treated you and the children really well since the split?

Still no, but I'd be nicer to him.

No. I couldn’t forgive that. And I say that as someone who is attempting to reconcile with my (genuinely husband after an affair. Which I am only considering because he is genuinely remorseful, accepting all responsibility, willing to look at himself and his behaviour and change what needs changing, and is now going to therapy. None of that appears to apply to your husband - never mind the infidelity, the behaviour that you describe, and his attitude to you would be impossible for me to get past.

No. Don’t go back. He’s shown you the kind of person he is.

Reread your post. Why would you want to go back to that?