Husband is emotionally and verbally abusive and threatens to take my baby if I leave

[Girlmum1234]

My husband of 2 years is threatening to take my 1 year old for more than 50% of the time if I leave him. We are in a terrible relationship and he is emotionally aggressive and abusive and is nasty to me. He calls me names and is pressuring me to work again. He has been violent in the past and he is grossly aggressive. When I have said I want out he has told me to dare to take the baby and I would have to leave and our baby would stay with him. He said he would make sure in court that he gets more than 50% custody even though I am the primary caregiver and I am a stay at home mum with my baby all day every day. I don’t know what to do and where to turn to. I want to leave but I am so scared he will hurt me or won’t let me have my baby to leave with. I am scared he will threaten my family he has been nasty about them before. I live in the uk and need some help before I get legal advice. If I leave can I leave with my baby? Can he take my baby until a court order is sorted? He is emotionally damaging to me and I don’t want my baby thinking it is normal. TIA xx

I'm so sorry OP. I don't have much experience in this, but I've read enough threads on here to know that this is usually an empty threat to stop you from leaving. I'm sure someone will be along with more advice soon.

Call Women's Aid as soon as humanly possible. If he intimidates or threatens you in any way, call the police. Get his abuse on record, every chance you get. Document everything. Keep every abusive text, email or voicemail. Every single day write down what has transpired and what he's said. Gather all of your important documents and the baby's. If you can, leave right away. Get a solicitor as soon as possible. Make him take you to court for access. He probably won't.

Hello OP sorry to hear you are in this situation. Are you in touch with Women’s Aid? Give them a call if you can they should be able to offer some support and advice.

Thank you all for your advice. I will contact women’s aid when I have a chance to be alone. He is very adamant that he wants to have our baby a lot and will never be an absent father, but I worry that he will just get so angry at me leaving that he will hurt me snd my family so I don’t go. Years ago he cleared our bank account because he was angry at me so I don’t know what he is capable of doing to me. I am so upset for my baby. I have tried to document things before but he found out and it was terrible. He is very controlling so I have no way of gathering my belongings and baby’s and important documents without him knowing. Maybe women’s aid can give me exact things I should be doing to help me get out safely as it is easier said than done to just leave. Thanks all. Anymore advice is very welcome.

Women's aid have a chat facility on their website so you can just type, handy if he's in the same house as you. They were the turning point for me and are bloody fantastic. @Aquamarine1029 has given you some excellent advice too.

You can do this.