H not submitting form E

[SeeingRed]

Difficult situation. We're still under the one roof and I know he hasn't done anything yet.

I've done a load of work in putting together all the documents/figures and included his too (I always took care of the finances so have seen all pension vaulations, know about all bank accounts, investments etc). I was the one who took the time and trouble to get multiple valuations on the family home and a flat that we inherited and now let out.

My solicitor has prepared my form E using the information relating to me and said it's useful to have seen what we'll be expecting H's form E to contain (from my summary/valuations of all marital assets/liabilities).

However H hasn't given his solicitor information to enable them to do his form E. I have given him copies of the valuations and I could provide a copy of our joint assets/liabilities for his solicitor but presumably they couldn't use it if it comes direct from me instead of H.

The reason H hasn't done it, despite having all the information (even if pension valuations are now, only a very little, out of date) is that he wants to put off the actual time when we'll be in separate homes for as long as possible.

If he doesn't provide the information he presumably knows that the court date will be postponed and then he'll probably miss the next date and the next.....

How is he allowed to do this ? Is there nothing I can do ? My solicitor doesn't seem to believe me when I tell him (almost 20 years experience of living with H renders me confident in telling him this) that H will push things as far as he can to stay in the family home for as long as possible.

Thanks in advance for any advice

My H refused to complete the Form E too. We had several adjournments. In the end we went ahead without the Form E, my solicitors advised me that they couldn't advise me to sign the financial settlement. But I had no choice really as I needed to go ahead. I had a fair idea of what he was earning at the time (although he refused to disclose).

Is your solicitor aware of economic abuse? This can be one form of it, and your solicitor should be taking into consideration that your H is using this as a way of exerting control over you. I did have a solicitor who was very well aware of this being used by abusive husbands and she handled it brilliantly. She also made sure I didn't have to face him in mediation.

I can't really say there's any financial abuse on his part. We've always had a joint account and used it for all family income/expenses. There'd be no point in either of us plundering it as it's all documented, along with our pensions, savings and other assets. I love spreadsheets !

I know almost exactly what we both have, jointly and individually (I'm good with numbers) and I'd been tracking everything over the years with an eye on when we'd be able to retire. Over the years stuff like that was all left to me along with getting household repairs done, renewing insurances, sorting childcare, planning/booking holidays, buying family & friends presents etc etc.

I'd be gobsmacked if he had any savings/other assets or debts that I didn't know about, he knows 99% of the picture as far as my position is concerned too (if he put his mind to thinking about it !) and I've declared everything in my form E so that he's fully informed about the other 1% too.

The only abuse is emotional in dragging out proceedings as long as possible and I suppose costing us extra solicitor/court fees in doing so.

oh ok, well I did get my order even though there was no Form E, but the solicitors made sure it was on record that they couldn't advise me to sign it. My H would have carried on forever missing court appointments and refusing to disclose. (for him it was a power and control thing). If you feel confident that you have the full picture of all the income etc, can you go ahead? Have you reached agreement with your H on the way forward?

That's interesting that you got to go ahead anyway in the end @HelenHywater , hopefully we can too although presumably the solicitor will document that they advise me not to sign too. Thanks for sharing your experience of a similar siyuation.

H is not talking to me, wouldn't respond about a mediation appointment where we could have thrashed out untangling/splitting our finances much more cost effectively than going to court.

He has started moping about and threatening to quit his job as apparently "this is the last straw and making me miserable !". I get that, I totally due, it's a crappy phase of our lives but he hasn't cared two hoots for my happiness during the main part of our marriage so I am unable to muster any sympathy. Neither of us have love interests elsewhere (not filing for adultery) , it's just that the marriage is dead. He's verbally aggressive if things aren't going the way he wants them to and he makes my life difficult/unpleasant so the thought of spending retIrement years with just him once the kids have finished Uni and settled in their own lives without me having a work life to retreat to, is unbearable.

Your solicitor needs to apply for a penal notice to be attached to the order that says he needs to complete form e.

So he gets more time and if he fails to complete by a date he can be sent to prison. That's normally enough to make them do it.

Thanks @Ultimatebetrayal

Form E is not compulsory as I understand
as you already know about all assets finances I don’t see why you can’t crack on without it tbh

make your settlement offer and see what he comes back with

It is if there are court proceedings

a flat that we inherited

which one of you inherited it? How did you inherit it together as a 'we'?

But they’re not at court stage yet and it only becomes mandatory if you’re applying to the court for an order

if op has not yet put forward suggestions/proposals for a split then they are not at fdr/fdh stage yet so should try to negotiate outside of courts

Her post says the next court date will end up being adjourned.

I inherited it a long time ago but I've always considered all assets we own to be joint as we're married.