Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

When does money have to get paid?

21 replies

Undecidedandtorn · 22/05/2022 21:57

My ex is staying in the family home and I'm buying a new place. Through mediation I've agreed to pay him £60k from the sale of a flat I own (the rest of the money is going into the new place along with the max mortgage I can get)

The sale is going through next week but due to a range of issues - some to do with buying of the house - I'm now in debt- a £3k overdraft and a £2k credit card bill. We are nowhere near to agreeing a settlement due to a big disagreement to do with my pension and have yet to start divorce proceedings. Can I pay him £55k (using the rest of the money to pay off my debts) and then the other £5k next year when I get an inheritance due to me?

OP posts:
DenholmElliot1 · 22/05/2022 22:01

No. The agreement was £60k when your flat was sold so that is what you have to do.

The debt can be paid with the inheritance when you get it.

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 22/05/2022 22:12

I don't understand why you have agreed to pay anything without a financial settlement. Its part of a greater agreement, has a lawyer advised you on this?

Wnikat · 22/05/2022 22:14

Why do you have to give him money if he gets the marital home?

Pixiedust1234 · 22/05/2022 22:15

Wait...has this settlement been rubberstamped by a judge yet?? If not then don't pay a penny until it is (obviously keep the money safe and don't spend it). Mediation is not legally binding.

millymollymoomoo · 22/05/2022 23:11

Why on earth are you buying snd selling properties, taking out large mortgage without even having started divorce and haven’t agreed final settlement??!

nadness

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 22/05/2022 23:32

To respond to some questions/statements. Nothing signed legally - just a mediation agreement. The agreement doesn't specify when - just that I have to pay him £60k. If I had waited I wouldn't have been able to afford a house in the local area and we have 2 kids still at school.

I have to pay him £60k from the flat sale due to splitting everything 50/50. Due to the length of our relationship the legal advice (backed up by the mediation) was that the flat although owned by me was martial property.

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 23/05/2022 14:41

Do not pay a penny until a judge signs off on it. Only then does it have to be paid. Do you have your own divorce solicitor or are you relying on his?

Aboutdamntime · 23/05/2022 14:43

You’re not divorced and you say you are nowhere near a settlement. Don’t pay a penny!

Pixiedust1234 · 23/05/2022 14:44

Also marital assets are not always split 50/50. It also depends on who has primary care of the children. Again, do you have your own divorce (as opposed to general) solicitor?

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 23/05/2022 19:33

I did have a solicitor - as we have been together for 19 years and are doing 50/50 with the children she advised me to spilt the property equity 50/50.

OP posts:
Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 23/05/2022 19:41

will he owe you for the family home?

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 23/05/2022 21:58

No - it's worth about half of my new place

OP posts:
Palaver1 · 24/05/2022 06:00

Don’t forget Ctg

SD1978 · 24/05/2022 06:25

Sorry- he retains the family home, and you have to give him £60k- is the financial settlement binding? Igor can he then request/ receive more during the divorce itself? If it's the latter- I wouldn't be handing over that much money and a house knowing there could be a claim for more. I don't see how a previous asset- your flat, bought before you got together, becomes a joint asset.

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 24/05/2022 08:31

I wish my flat wasn't a joint asset but that is what my solicitor told me. To fight it and possibly lose would have been very costly. We have been together a very long while plus he was a sahd for a number of years.

OP posts:
Tinkywinkydinkydoo · 24/05/2022 15:28

You’re not really explaining why he gets to stay in the family home. Is there no equity in it so he’s just taking it over? Is his share in the flats equity worth more than £60k so that’s the difference?

Original poster
Undecidedandtorn · 24/05/2022 20:14

Basically we added the equity from the flat and the house together to give as a "joint asset " figure and then split that money.

There is way more equity in the flat than there is in the house. Eg (and these are not real figures) the house has £50k equity and the flat has £150.

So £100k each. I sell the flat and give him £50k from the sale. Does that make more sense?

OP posts:
dumdumduuuummmmm · 24/05/2022 20:23

You say there was no date attached to the mediated agreement so I'm pretty sure you can give him £55k then £5k later. Why would you be able to if there was no payment date stipulated

waitingpatientlyforspring · 24/05/2022 20:52

Don't give any money until a financial settlement agreement is reached. Otherwise he could spend that cash and you could be left splitting the equity in your new place and the family home with no money to pay him.

DragonBoots · 24/05/2022 20:57

Don't give him anything until you're divorced! If you want to help him out, then you could but make sure it's documented and signed by him. Then you can subtract that from the final settlement.

Bollindger · 26/05/2022 13:29

Just wait, as if it is not signed off, you may find he has pensions, he keeps a car and other assets.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page