First steps.....

neverfunny · 2022-05-18T12:51:05+00:00

My husband has appointed a solicitor for himself to begin divorce proceedings. We are going for the no-fault divorce and I am happy. I understand that I will need to find a solicitor to sort the financial agreement, but other than this I am pretty much clueless. Do I need to appoint a solicitor to respond to his petition for divorce? Could I use an online service for that? Our finances are complicated so I wouldn't even consider not using a solicitor for this part but actually just dissolving the marriage... Many thanks in advance for ANY advice anyone can give me!

user1471539385 · 18/05/2022 22:23

The online service is really user friendly. We managed to complete it, send it and pay the fee in a matter of hours.
Wishing you strength for the next few months. I’m only a few days into the process too, and swing from happy there is light and the end of the tunnel to terrified at the thought of managing on my own.

Itsybitsydoodah · 18/05/2022 22:34

Do not finalise the divorce until your finances have been sorted out. Best bit of advice I was given.

Original poster

neverfunny · 19/05/2022 08:34

Itsybitsydoodah · 18/05/2022 22:34

Do not finalise the divorce until your finances have been sorted out. Best bit of advice I was given.

Yes, I gather that from reading things on here! Thank you 😊

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Original poster

neverfunny · 19/05/2022 08:36

user1471539385 · 18/05/2022 22:23

The online service is really user friendly. We managed to complete it, send it and pay the fee in a matter of hours.
Wishing you strength for the next few months. I’m only a few days into the process too, and swing from happy there is light and the end of the tunnel to terrified at the thought of managing on my own.

Thank you! My husband has instructed a real life (!) solicitor, but I am keen to have an online one respond to it and also look over the finances which again I think he will instigate.

Good luck to you... I am awaiting my letter....I feel very sad but relief too, and yes worry as if I can't even afford a solicitor, how on earth will I feed myself! 😂

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EmilyBolton · 19/05/2022 09:42

Go and get yourselves the “Advice Now” guides on divorce and financial settlement
they cost £20 on line. Bear in mind a solicitor will charge each of you around £200 per hour to answer questions you’ll find answer to in these guides.
they are great guides written by legal charity- all legit
They outline process, the section 25 criteria is used by courts to ascertain “fair” division of assets for you to go down the consent order route and keep costs to min. These criteria are not the 50:50 many people think is the starting point

also, which is amazing help, it points out bits where you don’t really need a solicitor, where you might want a solicitor and where you really do need a solicitor. And then it includes lists of solicitors contact that you can use just for bits you want who are doing work for minimal chargers.

you don’t need a solicitor immedaitely. Inform yourself as to the most likely outcome based on section and the process. The petition is all done on line (go and study the government divorce portal which is again really great, simply explained and mega easy to use. You can download copies of all forms you’ll be using and see what info is needed. ). So you’ll get emails directly that will explain very clearly what you need to do. You do NOT need a solicitor for the petition itself- the whole point is that government has set it up so people don’t need to involve a solicitor

you will need to use solicitors at points during process for at least child custody and consent order . But again it is much better if you both agree what you are going to do without solicitor and using these guides and then go to solicitor with “make this framework legal for us”. Otherwise costs will ratchet up a lot.

remember that financial settlements are completely different but parallel process to the divorce petition

read up OP. get yourself informed and knowledgeable and on front foot of what would be “fair” in your situation.

Original poster

neverfunny · 19/05/2022 09:56

EmilyBolton · 19/05/2022 09:42

Go and get yourselves the “Advice Now” guides on divorce and financial settlement
they cost £20 on line. Bear in mind a solicitor will charge each of you around £200 per hour to answer questions you’ll find answer to in these guides.
they are great guides written by legal charity- all legit
They outline process, the section 25 criteria is used by courts to ascertain “fair” division of assets for you to go down the consent order route and keep costs to min. These criteria are not the 50:50 many people think is the starting point

also, which is amazing help, it points out bits where you don’t really need a solicitor, where you might want a solicitor and where you really do need a solicitor. And then it includes lists of solicitors contact that you can use just for bits you want who are doing work for minimal chargers.

you don’t need a solicitor immedaitely. Inform yourself as to the most likely outcome based on section and the process. The petition is all done on line (go and study the government divorce portal which is again really great, simply explained and mega easy to use. You can download copies of all forms you’ll be using and see what info is needed. ). So you’ll get emails directly that will explain very clearly what you need to do. You do NOT need a solicitor for the petition itself- the whole point is that government has set it up so people don’t need to involve a solicitor

you will need to use solicitors at points during process for at least child custody and consent order . But again it is much better if you both agree what you are going to do without solicitor and using these guides and then go to solicitor with “make this framework legal for us”. Otherwise costs will ratchet up a lot.

remember that financial settlements are completely different but parallel process to the divorce petition

read up OP. get yourself informed and knowledgeable and on front foot of what would be “fair” in your situation.

thank you so much - this is wonderful advice. Luckily our children are teens/uni age so I am not too worried about the custody aspects, but finances are the worry,. I will definitely get this booklet. I gathered from reading up i can do the divorce petition without a solicitor. thank you so much again!😊

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Original poster

neverfunny · 26/05/2022 12:55

As a follow up to the above, we are struggling to see wood for the trees regarding finances.

Neither can afford to buy the other out.
If we sell, neither can afford to buy houses that would be suitable for our family (number of children, dogs, proximity to schools etc)

Does anyone have any experience of coming to an agreement where one party stays in the house and buys the other out/sells and releases equity 2/3 years down the line? Or any other words of wisdom?

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millymollymoomoo · 26/05/2022 15:20

In reality courts won’t consider adult children /dogs into housing needs so unless you can both agree to deferred share that’s possibly an unlikely outcome
will either party really be in a much better financially
position to do so in a couple of years?
if house was sold and split ( in whatever portion deemed fair) cms you both house yourselves ? ( not inc family ) ?

what makes your finances complicated ? Lots of assets? Investments ? Foreign assets thx??

Original poster

neverfunny · 27/05/2022 08:08

millymollymoomoo · 26/05/2022 15:20

In reality courts won’t consider adult children /dogs into housing needs so unless you can both agree to deferred share that’s possibly an unlikely outcome
will either party really be in a much better financially
position to do so in a couple of years?
if house was sold and split ( in whatever portion deemed fair) cms you both house yourselves ? ( not inc family ) ?

what makes your finances complicated ? Lots of assets? Investments ? Foreign assets thx??

thanks for your reply. My STBXH is self employed and pays himself virtually nothing, and I suspect hides a lot too. My salary isn't great although I hopefully have an opportunity at work to increase hours. I don't think we have enough equity and borrowing power to buy separate houses but I just have no knowledge or experience in this! We have three children, two at uni so they need a base at least for holidays etc. I am speaking to a mediator this morning but I just feel absolutely trapped.

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