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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Financial abuse?

6 replies

Yellowducksarecute · 09/05/2022 22:38

Hi so I’m at sahm I have a toddler and my partner works full time. I’m on UC I have a heart condition but getting treatment. We do 50/50 bills and rent. He gets around 1,500 a month rent and bills is 300 each. I only get 360 a month. So I’m left with practically nothing each month. We had an argument about money. He said “my money is my money and it’s not my problem that you don’t have money”. I was mad because he’s going out drinking and gigs, fancy dinners with family (we weren’t invited) and he’s going abroad with his family too he doesn’t even realise how selfish he is being he never wants to spend time with me and our daughter he sits on his phone all day never read her a book or done bath time. He’s never even spent a night without me around whereas he’s went drinking for 12 hours without letting me know he’d be gone that long he left at 2pm. Meanwhile im left doing all the childcare and paying for all my daughters necessities and needs while he lives this lavish lifestyle. His hours aren’t even bad he works three days and is off three days.
and I felt so upset last night he started looking for jobs for me I’m going back to university in September I have no childcare I can’t afford it and my daughter can’t start nursery until March :( I feel so down I just want a happy positive partner who brings us up instead of being so cruel and negative. Is this financial abuse?

OP posts:
AdriftAbroad1 · 09/05/2022 22:49

Yes, it is.

My H is like this, driving around in his Porsche and I cannot even afford a new t shirt or the dentist for me or DC.

Your husband will get much worse.

I am divorcing him, after 10 years of pontification. I really cannot wait. I have already moved out.

AdriftAbroad1 · 09/05/2022 22:49

and I meant to say, poor, poor you.

Yellowducksarecute · 09/05/2022 22:52

That’s ridiculous I feel for you :(
we aren’t married but my daughter has his name on the birth certificate

OP posts:
AdriftAbroad1 · 09/05/2022 22:56

If you are not married it is a tricky situation. I am in a country where I will get nothing, no benefits, nothing.

I just dont care. I have wasted so much time.

Your partner does not respect you at all and genuinely, leave, he will have to pay child maintenance.

Someone will be along with advice I hope. Good luck OP x

Ohsugarhoneyicetea · 09/05/2022 23:08

Your financial situation will improve hugely once he is gone, your UC will go up a lot and you will get child support (put in a claim to CMS dont even discuss it with him) and you will also get a lot of help with childcare costs. Can you get PIP as well for your heart condition. Just start working out how to do it and how to get rid. He sounds utterly awful.

Itsybitsydoodah · 11/05/2022 21:17

Yes its Financial Abuse. Leave him, it won't get better, he will just continue trying to control you and things will escalate.
Once you've left him stick a claim in for child maintenance too.

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