Advice on refuges

[Needmorecoffee2]

Hi all, I wondered if I could have some advice from anyone who has been in a refuge please?

I am in an abusive relationship, I have a young child and a baby on the way. I am thinking about going to a refuge but wanted to know about other peoples experiences.
I’m not in a physically abusive relationship, it’s verbal, mind games and a lot of gaslighting. He punches walls etc when angry and I hate our child seeing it. I’m scared that either of us could replace the wall one day and I just need to get out. I cannot have my children seeing this as they grow up!

I had to give up work to look after our child as childcare was too much to afford, so I have been totally reliant on him financially and have no money of my own.

These are my questions:

• Would a refuge accept me as an abuse victim when it’s not physical? I feel guilty even considering it when others have a lot more pain!

• Do you have to pay rent? if so how much roughly should I expect? I will be making a universal credit claim to hopefully cover this

• How long did you stay in the refuge for and did it take you long to get into council housing?

• Are refuges scary?

Thank you in advance, I really appreciate any help of advice I can get x

Abuse is abuse, try shelter, they can start the ball rolling for you.
if you have no savings the housing element of UC should cover it.

getting perm council housing is different in different parts of the country, north east a few mth, London, years and years.

what is your housing situation now? Mortgage? Rent? Are you responsible for paying?

Thank you, i will check them out!
he owns the house and covers all the bills, I don’t have to contribute to anything, but also means I walk away with nothing! So is definately scary....but can’t be any scarier than staying!

It’s could be seen as better that way, you won’t have to added complications of owning half a house/equity, thus much more straight forward to get rent paid by UC private or la, and easier to apply for council housing

It is physical. He punches objects to tell you "if you don't fall in line you will be next" .

Phone refuge and see if they can find you a space.

Yes you would have to pay rent but ordinarily if in a refuge you have a support worker who can help with sorting out UC claims etc.

As in, phone the charity named Refuge.

Are you married op ?

No, not married, will literally leave the situation entitled to nothing from the house.

Yes that’s the thought I constantly get in my head actually, one day I might replace the wall. I will definitely call them I think, it’s just frightening having to admit things and start a potential new life from scratch

Please get help and get out asap. This kind of abuse is awful, he's torturing your mind and instilling fear of physical violence to try and control you.