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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

My daughter doesn’t want to see her dad

6 replies

Myspace123 · 23/04/2022 15:26

Hi I’ve joined up today because I’m trying to find out if anyone else is in the same position as me , my daughter is 12 years old now and from the start her dad was never really in her life , like every so often he saw her 🙄, he’s never paid towards her up keep either, for the first 5 years I’d say I wasted my time trying to make us into something it was never going to be and then one day I just decided I was totally done (we never lived together or anything I just saw him occasionally) anyway after I told him I wasn’t interested anymore for good and finally moved on with my life he didn’t see her for that whole year (even though I praticly begged him ) because I did want her to see her dad , it was always I’m busy etc etc , to cut a very long story short in the last 6 years I can count on my hands how many times he has seen her , all through covid I never heard one word from him to see if she was ok , but saying that the last 6 years it was like every few months he would pop up out of nowhere asking to speak/see her 🙄, so the last two years he hasn’t seen her , now she is 12 years old , before the times when he saw her once a year I had to praticly make her go with him because she didn’t really want to , but all of a sudden recently he’s come back messaging and asking her to call him , but now she doesn’t want to speak to him or see him ,(which I don’t blame her and I’m not going to force her) so because she doesn’t want to speak/see him and I told him this , I’m now getting a barrage of abuse from him saying I’ve stopped her from seeing him and blah blah blah , I have never stopped her from seeing him it was his choice to see her once a year (if that) and now she’s older she just doesn’t want to , it has nothing to do with me , he keeps saying rubbish about calling social services and I’m a bad mother etc , which obviously I’m not but it’s just really getting on my nerves , he couldn’t even be bothered to sign her birth certificate when she was born so he’s noT on her birth certificate (thank god) but has anyone else had this with there child’s dad . It’s really starting to annoy me all these messsges , even though it’s all bs it’s still pissing me off . Any advice would be helpful x

OP posts:
MooseBeTimeForSnow · 23/04/2022 15:30

She’s 12. If he wanted to force the issue a court would say she’s old enough to make up her own mind.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 23/04/2022 15:34

Just block him. He’s can go to court if he wants to, and they’d probably respect her views and not make her go. You should claim maintenance though.

Mindymomo · 23/04/2022 15:36

I don’t blame her, if he couldn’t be bothered before, why should she be bothered now.

Namechanger250 · 23/04/2022 16:01

I was 8 when my parents split. My dad didn’t really bother with me and, by 12, I decided it was a waste of time going to see him and said to my mum I didn’t want to. She never forced me to go and my dad didn’t push it. He died when I was 24. He left me money but I instructed his solicitor to give it to the woman he’d shared the rest of his life with. I wasn’t a daughter to him.

StarCourt · 23/04/2022 21:54

@Myspace123 my DD is now 13 but last June she decided she didn't want to see her dad anymore. The situation is different as before that we had shared care.
I've told her if she ever wants to see him or keep in touch with him I will fully support her either way.
We have a COA that's been in place since she was 5 but if it went back to court I know a judge would be on DD's side.

MattDamon · 23/04/2022 22:02

I stopped contact at 12. I still remember that final time he let me down and the feeling of knowing I was done.

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