Applied for divorce - now scared

[Snarferson]

I applied for divorce on the 6th without a solicitor as I have no assets really but now im scared I've made a mistake. I dont earn a lot but too much to get help.

I split up with H 11 and a half years ago. Since then he refused to tell me where he lived and would block me when I asked so I gave up. I saw him on a walk and did a sneaky thing and got his address off his dogs collar so I applied for divorce when the new rules came in.

The papers came on the 8th so I assume he got his on the 8th too. He hasn't responded. I'm now scared he's going to try and make my life hard. He was controlling in a psychological way. I might be paranoid as he has until the 24th but he can just go online and sign so don't know why the delay.

As I said above I have nothing really. A house that I live in with DD(6) who is not his, a car, a pension and 5k in a bank account for emergencies. I also have a few debts (car loan and credit card). Should I spend my 5k on a solicitor? Is it too late?

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Personally I’d wait for a response then you can figure out your next steps
Make sure you get a clean break consent order sealed by the court though

Thank you millymolls I'll look into that.

Some solicitors offer 30 mins free advice. It’s useful to know if there are potential pitfalls. I second the advice from above poster- ensure you get clean break order and also contact credit agencies and request that you are disconnected on all of their records

Thank you. Does anyone know what I do if he won't respond?

www.gov.uk/divorce/what-happens-after-you-apply

I just looked here and it says if he doesn’t respond the court will tell you what to do.

So not very clear.

Good luck op

Stealth I saw that too. Very mysterious. Just tell me now so I can prepare please

Knowing this government they probably don’t know yet!

www.wiselaw.co.uk/divorce/spouse-doesnt-want-divorce/

www.diemlegal.co.uk/husband-wife-ignoring-divorce-petition/

Thank you everyone.

Good luck Op. first steps to your new and wonderful future 💐

Hi op, want to share my experience when my now husband applied for divorce from ex wife she refused to sign the online. We had to wait 28 days and then fill out a d11 which is a form to go to court to prove service has been deemed with any evidence. As she had messaged saying she had received it and refused to sign a judge stamped it (cost £50). I'm not sure with no fault divorce if this is still the case of what happens, but you can ring the court or online chat them and they will tell you what to do next after the 28 days. If you still need to go down the d11 route then you may have to pay for someone to serve the papers to send in with the D11 (as evidence). Again I'm not 100% with the no fault if this is still relevant but in case it is I thought I would share.

Thank you Shibby. I just think he will ignore me. I have messages from August last year from him asking can we give it another go. We've been split over 11 years. He truely won't let me be free.

Don’t worry. The new No fault divorce rule isn’t really important here, the time you’ve been separated is. You’ve been separated more than 5 years. He doesn’t even need to sign anything. If he fails to respond to the papers he has now, you’ll need to pay a fee to have them served by a bailiff. They just have to be able to prove he’s seen them but he doesn’t have to agree to the divorce. If he ignores the papers again, the divorce will go through anyway. It won’t be worth his while to contest it. I got divorced earlier this year and used one of the online divorce service companies. This is exactly what would have happened in my case except he actually signed the first lot and returned them, you could have knocked me down with a feather.

@Snarferson do not worry even if he ignores them the divorce can still go ahead a) as its been over 5 years and b) no fault divorces are in place now, as above you will probably just have to fill out the deemed service form, pay the fee and get someone to serve him the papers. I would wait longer ours was online and took 10 working days to reach her in the post.

The deemed service is just to prove he knows he is getting divorced. If he gets served the papers and signs then happy days you proceed. If he doesn't sign either set It may delay things than if he signed and take longer but he can't stop it :) at this point you would just fill out the d11 form show proof he was served the papers and pay the fee. if you need any help with the form ask the courts or shout up as I helped hubby DIY it. good luck!

I really don't get what is up with him. There is nothing in it for either of us remaining married (except maybe some feeling of control for him). You've all been so nice. Thank you. Even after all this time he manages to stir up some anxiety in me.

Hi all. Just thought I'd give you an update as you've all been so kind advising me.

I messaged him and asked him if there was any reason he had not responded. He replied saying that he had on the 20th and sent me screenshot of an acknowledgment to an email saying it will take them up to 28 days to respond to his email.

Don't really understand why they would set him a deadline if they don't check promptly whether he has met it. It's annoying as they sent me an email today about getting someone to serve the papers which, had he decided to ignore me message, I would have paid for when he says he's responded anyway and wasted money .

Have you talked to a solicitor at all? You can get half an hour free advice from most family solicitors if you go with specific questions. I'm in a very similar position, and while the gov.uk website is quite good, it leaves a lot of the process very unclear.

The good thing is that he has responded. Just a case of it working through the system now.

Congratulations it’s nearly over well done on your detective work