Help re new half siblings

[mumyes]

I'd like to get better at supporting my daughter regarding her half siblings that my ex husband has had with his new partner.

I really struggle with the situation & it's made me not really want to talk about his new partner or their child with my daughter. But I feel I need to work on this for my daughter's sake.

Help please...Words of advice, books, articles...?

Thankyou.

How old is your DD?

What is it that you struggle with and why?

Just normalise it. Talk about it as something lovely and make sure she feels important and included

@MintJulia she is 9

What exactly is the issue?

Surely you concentrate on the positives of siblings and being a big sister?

@millymolls his partner has a worrying history, and many (6) other children. She is also incredibly different to me (& him) and it feels like he has got our daughter involved in a situation I would rather - and I always would have used to think he would rather - have not.

But involved we all are, so I am trying to make the best of it.

I am very close to my siblings but I just cannot ever really imagine my daughter being that close to the half siblings. It's just a bit of a brain-mess really.

(I have happily moved on and found a lovely partner, but I don't think either of us want more children.)

What’s she finding hard? How old and how many siblings?

X post. Is the situation how many children she has or something else?

Maybe you could explain a bit more and we can help.

Your dd will take her cues from you. Imo you do her a disservice not to 'sell' her siblings to her. My exh tried to seriously sabatage our dc andy new dc's relationship.. Backfired immensely and they are nc with their df as a result..
You sound very judgey and likely dd knows that.

OP, I can see how the situation might be difficult.

All you can do is be 'light-touch' about the arrival of the new baby. Say 'how lovely', suggest she chooses her new half sibling a little teddy & a card, and then leave it there.

From then on, take your lead from your DD. If she wants to talk about the baby, join in, if she doesn't then that is also fine. If differences emerge in how the children are raised, then just say different people have different lives.

Don't make a big thing of it. Let your daughter take time to decide how she feels for herself. Your house is still her safe consistent space to process these things.

I'm from a blended family of half and step siblings. I've never loved full time with that part of my family. Gone was with my mum and my sister. Although the big family has very much enhanced my life. A d it's family. I do not see or have contact with them regularly just if I'm visiting I may see some of them.

My ex is also having a new baby and his partner has a large family already. The children are ok with it all. I have said that it's really lovely and acknowledge their excitement. They went shopping for baby things with them etc. So I reinforce their excitement. I also reassure them by listening to their worries. It's obviously a full a d busy house. And as my children 'visit' it is going to be even more of a squeeze. All I can do is let them know home is not going to change.

In short acknowledge their excitement. Accept they have family that you won't be part of. And reassure their fears.

Tbh I’m still not sure what to concern is or what it is that makes you not want to talk about it
It’s difficult to know when you don’t mention what his partners worrying history and without you really saying what you think the problem is

Are you worried she won’t /doesn’t get on with siblings? That’s she excited? That you think her dad will let her down? That she doesn’t down enough time / too much with them? That she feels pushed aside ???