Long term plan to leave

[Milliemoo1908]

I was hoping to get some words of wisdom about how I might get through the next few years before I’m finally (hopefully) in a position to leave my marriage.

I have posted before about the reasons why so I won’t bore you all but basically I am not prepared to live with such a selfish and occasionally extremely unpleasant person for the rest of my life.

We have two DC aged 12 and 13. I work full time during term time (admin) so not a great wage but I absolutely love my job and the people I work with who have literally kept me sane over the last few years! We own our home and if sold would possibly walk away with £300/350k equity between us.

Now to my question, how much do you think I would need to save up to be ready to start the ball rolling (selling/buying/moving fees in advance etc) And what can I do to mentally get myself through the time needed to do this? I need some coping mechanisms! Thanks in advance for any replies

Hi, there isn’t enough information for anyone to tell you. I’m sure there are online calculators. But roughly

Estate agent fees can be fixed and low if you use a non traditional agent. But are usually a % of the house sale price. Think 1-3%. Legal fees c £2k. Survey and valuation vary but £1k. Stamp duty is based on purchase cost. Then moving at about £1000. Mortgage fees vary but can be rolled into your borrowing. They are usually about £1k.

Divorce will cost as low as few £1k to £10k depending on how complex or acrimonious you make it. Being reasonable with each other will save you money.

I’d just crack on. All those costs are going to go up due to inflation. Saving isn’t going to be an easy thing to do for a couple of years again due to inflation.

Use the equity and make do. There isn’t a good time. Like I said above, working with you ex could make this an affordable and not too awful process. Fighting and squabbling will cost you time and money. Inflation means time is money.

Many thanks for taking the time to reply. I appreciate that it’s impossible to tell someone exactly how much they’ll need, I was just wondering if there were fees etc that would definitely need paying in advance of a house sale/possible purchase x 2. It’s a long time since I did all of this! I have zero savings at the moment and I know that’s not a good position to be in so I want to be in a slightly better position financially when ‘it’ happens.

I’m sure my H and I can be amicable about this plus he is very cautious with money so I know he’d want to do everything as cheaply as possible.

Thanks again for replying x