My divorce was finalised earlier this year. My ex isn’t a bad person, we’d just grown apart. I don’t particularly like the person he’s become but don’t say negative things about him because we have 2 teenage kids who live with me full time. They see him at weekends/holidays and he is really good at making the effort and phoning them daily.
But…when we were agreeing the financial settlement I said that I will have to downsize within 3 years when our youngest is 18 and stop getting support money from my ex because I can’t afford our current house. He lives in a 2 bed so I checked he’d been happy to potentially have one of our kids living with him as an adult if necessary because I will also be in a 2 bed when I downsize. I assumed he’d agree without hesitation. Instead he looked horrified and said he’d pay me an extra £200 a month until our youngest is 18 so I can look to downsizing to a smaller/cheaper 3 bed instead. I think it’s because his girlfriend is moving in with him, but my heart aches for our kids that he’s not willing to offer them a home. I want them both to know they always have a place to live if they need it.
I’m not telling anyone I know in real life what he said because I don’t want our kids to ever know, so sharing it here rather than keeping it locked up inside.